August Juice Cleanse Diaries

Day 1: Wednesday July 30, 2014

Day 2: Thursday July 31, 2014

Days 3 & 4: Friday August 1 & Saturday August 2, 2014

"6 Weeks to Relaxation" Coming in July!

Holy cow, it's going to be July soon! Need new relaxation techniques to sooth body, mind, and spirit? Join my "6 weeks to relaxation" series starting July 2. 

Series or drop-in possible; virtual attendance available too!

30 Days to a Happier & Healthier Me

A mocha latte

As some of you know, starting June 15th I'm facilitating a Facebook group called "30 Days to a Happier & Healthier You Practice". In it, each person decides one habit they'd like to practice encouraging, or one habit they'd like to practice softening. I'm specifically calling this a practice (rather than, for example, a "challenge") because although it may be challenging, it's not intended to be something we beat ourselves up over when we're not perfect at it. The idea is that we support each other, and just keep trying.

Of course as the facilitator of such a group, I have many ideas about what I could do for myself and post about. I have to set an example, right? So my first thought was that I could do anything EXCEPT giving up coffee (again). That would just be too challenging.

A little history of me and coffee: back in the day I was never really into it. I used to have one cup (read, 8 oz) in the morning with a powdered milk substitute. I preferred Dunkin over Starbucks. (Yes, really.) And then something happened--especially after I got a job in the city of Boston--I was surrounded with coffee shops. I got hooked on a morning Starbucks, joining in the morning ritual,  feeling all "Sex and the City". Soon I decided visiting the Boston Common Coffee Co was a better, more local alternative. I started drinking americanos and almond milk lattes. When I moved to Austin, the first thing I did was check out all of the coffee shops I could find. My favorite is Monkey Nest Coffee--where you'll often find me working.

When I'm doing a cleanse, I get off coffee pretty easily. I drink a lot of water, and don't have too many symptoms (e.g. headaches). But I miss it terribly. I miss the imagined comradery with other coffee drinkers. I miss greeting the people who make my drink, take my money, and stamp my frequent visitor card. I miss the ritual. Drinking coffee gives me pleasure; pleasure beyond what comes from the energy boost of the caffeine. (Anyone who's ever shared quarters with me knows I'm generally wide awake and perky somewhere between 5-6 am, even without it.)

So I could do anything but give up coffee as part of this practice. Right? Hmm....

Well truth be told, the group of people who have agreed to participate in this 30 day practice have inspired me. They've inspired me to set an example by being REALISTIC, to set myself up for something challenging enough to require practice but to still be ACHIEVABLE. So for the next 30 days, my practice will be to have one SMALL coffee drink no more than 3 times a week.

As part of this practice I will explore:

• what it is about drinking coffee that gives me so much pleasure? 
• how does it "fill me up" emotionally? 
• what am I afraid will happen if I don't drink it? 
• what tools can I use to get through times when I'm really craving it? 
• what needs does drinking coffee fulfill for me? 
• how can I enjoy working in a coffee shop environment without over-drinking coffee? 
• what is it I really desire?

It's my belief that we have difficulty changing habits because we focus on the "giving up" part by trying to use willpower. However, the habit represents something that's important to us, so we need to explore the deeper meaning behind the habit first. What are its benefits (even if we do label it as "unhealthy" or "bad")? How does the habit make us feel better, how does it serve us?

Only when we answer these questions will habits soften and perhaps fall away.

I'm ready to explore. I'm ready to practice. And I promise you, I will not be perfect. :-)

I hope you'll join me. See https://www.facebook.com/groups/1430137057252728/.

Does the number on your bathroom scale wreak havoc on your mood?

Mine used to.

Isabelle Tierney's recent post, titled "God in Facebook Form" got me thinking about another way many of us end up seeking validation: seeing a particular number on the bathroom scale.

During a particularly difficult time in my life (when I was under a lot of stress and feeling pretty trapped), I developed a pretty serious obsession with my weight. My rationale was that in 8th grade I was 5 feet tall and 100 lbs. Going on birth control at 16 gained me 3 pounds, but I was OK with that. Fast forward 20+ years later, and you'd find me incredibly focused on getting back down to that specific number of 103 (since obviously I wasn't getting any taller). I think I was around 110 lbs when all that started. When I hit rock bottom, I'd gotten myself up to 120 lbs--all by trying ridiculously hard to get the long and lean body I envied, weighing myself every day (sometimes more than once). That extra weight wasn't muscle either: it was from the binging and overeating caused by how the number on the scale contributed to my already fragile mood.

When I started studying to become an Eating Psychology Coach, one of the first things that Marc David, the founder and primary teacher in the training said, was that we should get rid of the scale. In addition to the fact that there are normal fluctuations in body weight, he alluded to the psychological impact that seeing a particular number can have on us. In my case, if I weighed less than I had previously, or I was closer to my goal weight, stepping on the scale would have a positive effect on my mood. I'd find myself smiling, and being happy and confident in my body until my next weigh in. If I weighed more or hadn't made any progress, I'd feel terrible. I'd go through my day thinking I was "fat and disgusting" (and I can't count how many times I said that phrase aloud, further putting it "out there" into the Universe and making it seem more real)!

At first I found myself very reluctant to give up this mood-altering ritual. But eventually, the scale went into the closet. I pulled it out once a week instead of stepping on it every day, but I found that even the decreased frequency seemed to have the same effect on my mood. Weight down, mood up. Weight up, mood down. So back in the closet it went, and as I started to really internalize that I could love my body as it is (yet still exercise and eat well to be strong, flexible, and healthy),

I'm happy to report that it's been over a month since the difference between a number in my brain and the one on a little square device has had any power over my mood, my confidence, or my life. Do I still think about weighing myself sometimes? Of course. Do I do it? Nope. Instead I remind myself that I can give my gifts to the world because of what is inside of me; and if that doesn't work, I do something I know will make me feel good, like yoga. (And oftentimes, those self-care activities are exactly what I need to be as healthy as I can be! Funny how that works.)

My Solemn Vow to Self-Care

This afternoon, I am having a much-needed pedicure. Over the past month my poor feet and toes have been through numerous walks, hikes, yoga, and dance classes. They need some pampering, and a fresh new color! If you're anything like me, just "making an appointment" for such an indulgence can take a few weeks, as other, more important things (likely not at all related to self-care!) take priority.

And, if you're anything like me, actually ENJOYING these precious moments of self-care is equally difficult. The last time I had a pedicure, I preemptively apologized to the nice lady working with my feet because I had my iPod on and headphones in--likely listening to a module in my training toward becoming a certified Eating Psychology Coach. Yet of course the entire time, I found my eyes glued to the subtitles of the "chick flick" (possibly Legally Blonde 2) that played on the wide-screen TV in the boutique-like nail salon. Now what was it he said again? Repeat that please! ;-)

So today, as I embark on this hour of self-care, I solemnly vow not to take an iPod/headphones, a phone, a book, or anything else that might distract me from completely spacing out and getting completely lost and engrossed in some absolutely ridiculous movie. Can I do it?

Feel free to check in with me about that and ask how it went! :-)

AND, can YOU set aside some time for REAL, non-multitasking, complete surrendering and letting go of obligations, worries, work, etc. self-care today? JOIN ME!

Copyright: domenicogelermo / 123RF Stock Photo

4 Ways to Not Lose Your S**t While in Traffic

When I moved to Austin a few months ago, a local friend warned me about the traffic here. Being from Boston--where over the course of the past 13 years I honed my wicked Massholian driving skills--I casually brushed off his warnings much like I'd flick away a buzzing insect. Now, 5 months into adjusting to life in Texas, I will say that I'm still quite puzzled by how people drive here. I honestly don't get it, and I'm pretty confident that it's a large contributor to the traffic issue. But, I digress.

There have been times when I have felt stressed while in traffic; several local clients of mine have also expressed that driving is a source of lots of stress and tension for them (especially if they're Yankees like me). So, here is some advice about how not to lose your s**t while in traffic, regardless of where you're commuting to or from!

1. Find ways to experience pleasure / fun: this is actually my favorite strategy, which is why I list it first. An example of a safe way to do this while driving (or rather sitting in a parking lot that should be a highway) is to put on some awesome music. I prefer the up-beat, old-school, belt-it-out variety, but you may prefer more relaxing, new-age, meditative tunes, or listening to that book you'd never have time to sit down and really read.
    
   
2. Generate compassion for other drivers: this may be the most difficult, and also the most rewarding technique. Instead of thinking of what "that guy/gal" isn't doing right, try to imagine all the ways they are just like you. Maybe they're tired, hungry, or just had a fight with their partner. Maybe their minds are on their jobs, or thinking about doing something more fun. Another way of doing this is recognizing that it's not THEY who are traffic; to them, YOU are traffic!
    
   
3. Practice breathing: so many of us breathe shallowly throughout the day, and we are more prone to it when feeling stressed out. Breathing deeply engages the parasympathetic nervous system, increasing our oxygen intake and helping us feel calm and centered. Yet, we don't often have time to sit down and focus on our breath in meditation. As part of your daily self-care, use the fact that you're sitting (especially when you're not moving) to try a simple breathing exercise like counting your breath: e.g. "one" on your inhale, "two" on your exhale, "three" on your inhale, and so on. Don't force your breath, just notice how it is naturally. And when you lose count, notice that, and begin at one again. (Check out Andrew Weil's site for some other useful breathing exercises--though be careful of which ones you choose to engage in while driving! You never want to feel lightheaded or overly distracted.)
    
   
4. Create a mental gratitude list: we often read that listing things we're grateful for can help improve our mood and improve our relationships, among other benefits. But taking time to do this in a journal (at least for me) rarely happens. So, why not use the time in traffic to start listing off all the things you're grateful for? You can start with your current day, or look to your past, or even run through your intended future plans. Or you can think about people, places, or things. For more ideas, check out 60 Things to Be Grateful For in Life.

We tend to think of being "stuck" in traffic as negative, but each of the above strategies ask for a shift in our perspective. More specifically, traffic gives us time to enjoy and engage in practices for stress reduction. Since most of us find it difficult to include time for self-care as part of our typical day, traffic offers this to us. (Think of it this way: it's like when you're run down because you're doing too much, and then you get sick. Your body actually forces you to rest and slow down.) So, if we re-frame the time we spend behind the wheel, traffic is actually a gift!

How can YOU make your experience of being in traffic a gift today? If you have another idea to share, please let me know. We can use all the help we can get. :-)

Meditating Your Way to Healthy Digestion

In my previous post, I described 4 ways that yoga can support your nutrition and weight loss goals. Here, I'll offer some advice about how a mindful meal meditation might move you along in these endeavors as well.

About Meditation & Mindfulness

Meditation is essentially a practice in training one's mind, so it can be done anywhere, using anything as a point of focus. Applying meditative techniques when moving throughout one's day can be thought of as mindfulness. Since we eat at least 2-3 times a day, meal times are a natural opportunity for meditation, using food as our focus.

A Mindful Mealtime Meditation to Try

Light some candles, dim the lights, maybe put on some relaxing background music. Ensure there are no potential distractions, nothing within reach to multitask with. Then, sit down at a table in front of your plate, and take a moment to connect with your meal. Look down at your food, noticing the different colors and textures, as well as the arrangement of the food. You might like to use a simple statement, like, "I eat this food to be healthy and happy, to care for and nourish my body." This prepares your body for a relaxed eating experience.

Take only enough food as will comfortably fit on your utensil. Notice the first contact of the food with your tongue. See if you can identify the flavors: sour, salty, sweet, bitter, and so on. Notice how the food changes form as you chew it slowly. To help you focus on this, it may be helpful for you to place your utensils (or food, if it's hand-held) back down on your plate between bites. If you get distracted or find yourself hurrying, simply notice, take a deep breath and start again.

When your plate is empty, observe that. Bring your attention to your belly, and notice that you are nourished and satisfied.

Note: A nice book for bringing meditation into your daily life is Making Space by Thich Nhat Hanh, from which some of these concepts were adapted.

Why This Matters

In Inside Tract, Mullen et al. state that “mindful eating is one of the most important techniques you can use [to improve your frame of mind and prepare yourself for excellent digestion].” In Digestive Wellness, Lipski posits that "focus[ing]...awareness of the favors in each bite...can dramatically enhance [people's] total digestive function more completely than can enzymes, bitters, or other digestive supplements."

Why? Because eating mindfully and with presence not only activates the relaxation response, but also initiates the first phase in the digestive process, called the cephalic phase. Cephalic means "of the head", and it's how the brain registers that the body is about to receive a meal. It's how the brain knows to "turn on" digestion by doing things like releasing enzymes and activating stomach acids, as two examples. When we don't pay attention to our food as we eat it, we bypass this phase, meaning:

• our digestive capacity (i.e. ability to break down, process, and assimilate nutrients from the food) is hampered by 40-60%
• we are more likely to overeat because we are not aware that we are full
• our digestive system has to work harder overall, which can result in issues like gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and over time, more serious ones like gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), ulcerative colitis, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Note: Why Being Mindful Matters is a nice, readable article on this topic.

The Gift of Self Care

This is the time of year that many of us are running around, trying to find gifts for others. Given how many people have told me that I'm too hard on myself and need to take better care of myself lately, I've decided to try and actually do it. (Of course people have been telling me that for years!)

Today I wanted to share a couple things I'm finding helpful:

• I signed up for the 30 Days of Self Love Challenge. Nicole sends emails with daily activities, and there's a Facebook group to help support you as you go through this. I started late, but found yesterday's exercise to be particularly useful. Essentially you wrote down on a piece of paper everything you didn't like about yourself, then read it and absorbed how that made you feel. Then, you say aloud, "I love you anyway" as you burn the paper. Although it took me lighting the paper 5 times to get it to completely burn (hmmmm....do you think I might be holding on??), it did feel like a real release, and now I find myself saying "I love you anyway" to lots of thoughts that come up.
  
• I decided to track at least one thing that I'm grateful for every day. Before bed, I write a couple of words on my (real wall) calendar. I figure that way, if I'm ever feeling really low, I can look at the calendar and see all the things I've been grateful for over the past days or weeks. 
  
• Instead of just having a morning routine (with which I've fallen off the wagon and need to get back on), I've decided to create a little "unwinding" evening / before bed routine. One thing is to add to the calendar as described above. I also love Shiva Rea's Moon Flow, so I'm doing that. (She has a downloadable one here.) And self-Reiki is not only healing for me, but practice as well. (I'm going for Level II in January!)

Anyway, in the interest of self-care this weekend, i.e. not spending my day stressing about writing a complicated post, here it is. Hopefully still useful and informative! 

Chanting Your Way to Joy

My First Kirtan Experience
My first kirtan happened over 12 years ago, probably among one of the first couple of times I visited the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Back then, they had a long weekend program that included elements of yoga and Buddhist practices, both of which I was starting to explore. If memory serves, most of the four days involved an hour of yoga, an hour of seated meditation, a meal. Rinse and repeat, multiple times a day. In the evenings (before we practiced loving silence) there would be a special event of some sort, such as a lecture or group discussion. One evening, there was something called a kirtan.

I had no issues with the silence. I was shy and loved not having to worry about "making friends." Although I was getting better at meditating for an hour at a time and tolerating the caffeine-withdrawal headaches that thumped my skull against my head to the point I feared others could see it, I anticipated these evening events; they were somehow more engaging than what was going on in my thoughts or in my body. Even though I'd been forced into music by my parents as a child, I welcomed listening to music as a distraction to all this, and was curious about the strange instruments, such as the harmonium, which I saw before me on the makeshift stage.

Looking back, I realize now that while I did yoga (asanas) to strengthen and stretch my body, and meditated to focus my mind, kirtan was the third point on the triangle--the one that got at my emotions and caused me to question who I really was. I enjoyed the music, and sang along though I had no idea whether I was saying the words correctly and had no idea what they meant. But what stood out to me, which I still remember, was the spontaneous dancing. Sure, my foot was tapping, and I may have even clapped a bit. But every now and then, someone would stand up, move to the outside of the room (maybe), and dance freely, in whatever way the music moved them. It was as if the song animated their bodies from the inside, and they were oblivious to things like, say...how they might look to other people. As someone who had always enjoyed dancing, I was envious, but completely self conscious. What would people think of me if I got up and started moving in "weird" ways? I had only ever done ballet--where I was shown the steps and like most other things in my childhood, told many times when I got them less than perfect. I just couldn't do it.

That was when I saw her. A woman had stood up from her back jack and pink square cushion, and started dancing in place. She had long gray hair (which may have been in braids, breaking multiple other "rules" that I had learned about women and aging). As I watched her, my thoughts began to shift. I felt admiration toward this strange woman. In that moment I asked myself, "how do I want to live my life?" "Do I want to be the kind of person who cares so much about what others think of me that I won't do something my body is aching to do, something I know I will thoroughly enjoy?" After a few more moments, I got up and let loose.

I still don't always pronounce the words right. I still don't know what many of them mean. And I've never lasted long in a chair or cushion at a kirtan since. I'll say "thank you" to that woman, whoever you are. That night, you were my guru (teacher).

Benefits of Kirtan as a Spiritual Practice
I attended Krishna Das' "Heart of Devotion" workshop, where we chanted and he talked about how kirtan was his primary spiritual practice. He told us he chanted because he HAD to, describing it in a way that sounded as though his very life depended on it. Given that I've been going through my own personal hell recently, I could relate.

So what makes kirtan such a powerful antidote to people's "dark places in the heart", as Krishna Das describes? What is it about chanting that an help us find the happiness that resides within?

For starters, it can be an alternative for those who have trouble meditating while sitting still, in silence, or who fear yoga as something that requires twisting their bodies into pretzels. Focusing just on the sounds from the instruments and people singing has a way of drowning out unwanted and automatic negative thought patterns.

Additionally, some believe that the very practice of sounding (of which vocalizing the Sanskrit language is one possibility), has healing properties--correct pronunciation is helpful, but an open heart is more important in order to receive the benefits, which include inner peace and a sense of joy.

And then there's the sense of community and belonging that attending a kirtan with friends (and even strangers) can help one feel again. In an age where communication happens primarily via technological devices and where in many cases, regular "church going" has fallen by the wayside because of the unpopularity of religious dogma, it's just NICE to sit in a room with other kind, compassionate human beings and sing. Plus, there are now some scientific studies in contemplative neuroscience that help explain why rituals like kirtan can create a kind of "buzz".

Is Kirtan for Me?
If you're interested in learning more about kirtan, the best advice I can give you is to just jump in. Listen to music online, buy a CD for your car (in my opinion, kirtan is fantastic for helping one handle traffic jams!), or find a meetup near you. For those in the Boston area who are up for an experience, check out the Boston Yoga and Chant Fest coming up in a few weeks! It's sure to be a memorable experience.

Petitioning the Universe

Early in her book Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes an activity a friend had her do while she was waiting to hear from her lawyer about whether her husband finally signed their divorce papers or not. She was feeling tortured by the whole drawn out, painful experience, and just wanted to be free. Her friend encouraged her to write a "petition to God," and once she had written down what it was she really wanted, she gave Elizabeth permission to summon signatures from all the people she could think of who would be in support of her plea. After naming close friends, family, colleagues, and so on, the list became wider, until lots of people from her life or from the world at large virtually signed her petition. Of course, in true cosmic fashion, minutes later she got the call that her divorce was final.

I started listening to this book on my iPod again while at the gym the other morning, and it occurred to me that there were one (or two, or three) things in my life where I was feeling lost about, and that this might be an interesting exercise to try. (I re-frame is as "petitioning the Universe" only because that's the term I particularly feel comfortable with, after 12 years of Catholic school ruined me for the word "God", though in theory I recognize it's all the same.)

It may be obvious, but I've never had trouble writing, so I opened up to a new page in my journal and just started writing. In about a page and a half, I spilled my guts. I wrote about things I felt tortured about, and asked for help. My last free-flow statement was, "help me find some way, some answer, some light."

And then it got weird.

I heard an answer, and I wrote it down. Not really a tangible, "do this thing now" kind of answer, but an answer nonetheless. I argued. And something responded. Two parts of me, having a dialog, back and forth. Sounding like a stubborn child and a patient adult. A lost friend, with another gently and supportively putting her back in her place, making her realize what's in her control and what's not. Reminding her of things along the way that she'd forgotten. Encouraging her to have faith, to trust, and believe that the answers will come. And that she MUST wait for them, must be patient.

Then the writing just naturally stopped. The child part didn't have any other counterpoints, and there was nothing further coming through.

Methinks I need to do this more often.

6 Common Barriers to Meditation, and How To Overcome Them

Since I started leading a weekly meditation group a few months ago, I've chatted with lots of folks about meditation--both those who are interested (but don't attend) as well as those who do (but don't meditate on their own). Throughout those conversations, I've discovered that people are aware of meditation's numerous health benefits, and seem to truly believe that meditation would help them better navigate their lives. So why aren't they able to create a regular meditation practice? Below, I describe 6 common challenges and provide advice about how to overcome each of them.

1. "I've never meditated before, and I don't know how or where to start."
   There are countless resources online and in bookstores about meditation these days, which can be overwhelming when you're just starting out. My advice? Don't get paralyzed by all the choices, just try one and see how it goes. If it works for you, awesome. If it doesn't, move on to another one. Ask friends or colleagues who meditate regularly what they use or do. Some resources I've found particularly useful include: Meditation Made Possible (CD or MP3 download), Opening the Heart meditation (recording and transcript), Guided Meditations for Love and Wisdom (CD and audio download), Guided Mindfulness Meditation (CD), and Simply Being (iPhone/iPad app).


2. "I can't find the time to meditate. I'm just too busy!"
   I used to believe this myself, and there are two ways I overcame this barrier.
   
   First, let go of the idea that you have to spend a lot of time meditating (10-15 minutes is sufficient). It's more important to meditate consistently for short periods of time than it is to do it for sporadic but long periods of time. Why? Because what you're really trying to do is create a new habit. Dr. Lally's research about habits and weight loss showed that behaviors are established after 66 consecutive instances, and that skipping days actually decreases the likelihood of the habit forming.
   
   Second, incorporate meditation into your existing morning routine. Adding the new habit next to habits you already have will not only help your brain establish more connections to the new activity, but the regularity of being in your home, before you get busy with the day's events, will help you explore meditation safely and trigger you to meditate more often than if you were to leave the time and place to chance. Just think, all you might need to do is wake up 10 minutes earlier, and walk to your favorite chair! (See How Changing Habits Will Help You Create the Life You Desire for more easy-to-read details about Lally's habit study.)


3. "I'm terrible at meditation. My mind wanders all over the place when I meditate."
   The key here is to understand and accept the fact that "good" and "bad" are just judgments the mind makes. A meditation is never good or bad--it just is. Again, what's important is that you just do it. If you need to track something about meditation to measure "success", track the days you do it vs. the days you don't, regardless of how you think it went. 
   
   Also, it's critical that as a beginner meditator you have an object of focus--something you can concentrate on and bring your attention back to whenever your mind goes elsewhere. That point of focus can be the breath (that you notice without judgment, or count inhalations and exhalations of), a phrase or affirmation (mantra) you repeat to yourself, or music that you can really listen to with your full attention. Many of the resources I've listed under barrier #1 above use these objects to help meditators concentrate.


4. "I can't stay awake during meditation."
   I think this is is a fantastic barrier, because it highlights other potential health concerns we need to be aware of and address.
   
   If you frequently fall asleep during meditation, it can mean that you aren't getting enough sleep at night (which according to the restorative theory of sleep, is critical time for our minds and bodies to recover from the emotional and physical stresses we put on them during the day). Our bodies know how much sleep they need, but we don't often pay attention, and we often override that internal wisdom.
   
   Falling asleep during meditation can also signal that you aren't incorporating enough relaxation / down time throughout your day. In other words, if you only relax deeply before going to sleep, your mind-body will only associate relaxation with sleep, and therefore sleep will be a natural outcome of meditation. Yoga Nidra, or "yogic sleep" is what we aim for in meditation--remaining conscious yet deeply relaxed at the same time. (There are guided CDs and audio programs specifically around Yoga Nidra: Vandita's Transform, Relax, & Rejuvinate is my favorite.)


5. "I've tried meditation, but it had the opposite effect of what it's supposed to. It made me anxious!"
   Again, letting to of what meditation is "supposed to" make you feel is a part of this, but there's much more.
   
   Many people, including myself, like to stay busy. We distract ourselves with socializing, technology, work, hobbies, etc. Unfortunately, this is often because there's something in our pasts that we are trying to run away from, or something in our present that we don't want to feel. Slowing down makes space for fears, emotions, and uncomfortable feelings to emerge, and then we have a choice: do we panic and shut them back out, or do we face them head on?
   
   A technique I learned in my Kripalu Yoga training, "Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, and Allow", has been very helpful. If you view yourself as a compassionate observer and can stay with the discomfort for just a few moments, you'll notice that it eventually dissolves. The more you do this, the stronger you'll get, and you'll find it easier to stay with your difficult feelings the next time they arise. However, be patient with yourself too--it's OK to sit with the emotion only as long as you can--the trick is to go a bit further than you're comfortable with each time, strengthening yourself little by little.


6. "It's uncomfortable for me to sit, or I just can't sit still in meditation."
   Personally, the most I can ever muster for seated meditation is a half lotus, and only with great effort. (One of my hips is really open, the other really tight.) And, if you think you need to be in lotus or even half lotus position to meditate, this is an unnecessary restraint you're putting on yourself.
   
   Easy pose (sukhasana) and Diamond pose (vajrasana) are two other common, and easier seated poses that are great for meditation. If you still find discomfort in these seated postures, try raising your hips higher than your knees using several cushions or blankets. I have found that both positions, especially easy pose, are much more comfortable for me the higher I am off the ground. If these don't work for you, try Well-being pose (svastikasana). If all else fails, you can sit in a chair to meditate! Just sit on the edge, ensuring that your spine is straight and elongated, rather than slouching against the back.
   
   If you have trouble sitting not because of physical limitations but because of your mental activity, try making walking the focus of your meditation instead. You can find more information and instructions for walking meditation in this article. The Guided Meditations for Love and Wisdom CD I reference above also has a nice walking meditation. 

The Chopra  Center is offering a 21-day Meditation Challenge starting this coming Monday. Join me!

My Experience with the Short Home Cleanse (SHC)

As some of you know, I completed my first real detox last fall. It was very powerful, and so as part of my follow up from attending Dr. Douillard's Ayurveda and Weight Loss program at Kripalu last month, I decided to try his 4-day, short home cleanse to prepare for spring. Here are some highlights from my experience. 

Prep Day: Sunday

• I keep thinking of my last detox and anticipating what this one might be like. I realize I need to let go of any expectations. 
• I make a different version of kitchari--this time based on Dr. Douillard's recipe, and am interested in seeing which one I like better. This kitchari seems easier to make for some reason; I decide to make it each night rather than quadrupling the batch and having it taste stale. 
• I decide to do the non-capsule form of all the herbs, and I can't find red root tincture after running to three different stores. I binge on a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin from Whole Foods because I'm frustrated. But I call Cambridge Naturals and they finally save me. 
• I say something to my husband about it being nice to have permission to take a bath each night, to which he responds, "why do you need permission any night?" Hmmm.... 

Day 1: Monday

• I can't believe I drank two teaspoons of ghee, although I didn't bother trying without mixing it with nonfat soy milk. I also added cardamom since I figured it would remind me of my warm spiced cardamom milk, but without the cashews. It actually isn't bad, but I can't imagine day four when I have to consume eight teaspoons first thing in the morning!
• It's nice to get back to alternate nostril breathing, but my mind is a ping pong ball during morning meditation. 
• I think I overdosed on the red root tincture! The instructions in Dr. Douillard's pamphlet say "one dropper-full" but I have a big bottle, and the bottle says 20-30 drops (which is nowhere near a dropper-full). I dump out some and dilute it with more water. It smells OK in the bottle but is gross in the water, maybe because I did WAY too much to start. I get a little paranoid about potential side effects, but after getting to work, I seem to still be alive. The red root tincture is gross, even with just 20 drops.
• I'm very hungry by 11am but I'd done a pretty brisk walk on the treadmill at the gym this morning--why is it so hard for me to back off!? I convince myself that warm water will hold me until 12:15pm, which it does. I'm hungry again between 3-4pm and slightly dizzy. Hopefully it's just a "first day" thing.

Day 2: Tuesday

• I continue to have a hard time slowing down my exercise. I do a little yoga and limit myself to Tracy Anderson arms and abs. It's not easy especially given how much ghee (i.e. fat) I know I'm ingesting each morning. I hope to get a walk in today though--the weather is so gorgeous! 
• My husband had me awake a lot last night with the various noises he makes in his sleep. I decide not to mention it today, in contrast to what I usually do. It seems like telling him after the fact, when he can do nothing to change things, isn't "non-harming". 
• I feel slower and more relaxed somehow (or it it weak?). I'm more easily aware of my belly breathing, and when I tighten my facial muscles (which I do a lot).
• My hair is not right, even though I used limited massage oil on my head last night. 
• I'm not hungry for breakfast, and I'm wondering whether I should eat kitchari until I'm full or the full serving, given its a long way to lunch. I need to follow the two-palm rule more often (mine are small)! I end up eating 3/4, but once at work I panic slightly as I'm hungry again. I drink more warm water and it helps. (I'm getting better at the warm water!) By 11am I'm only slightly hungry. 
• I eat my lunch too fast, and my stomach doesn't feel well before even drinking the red root tincture water. I decide to save my whey protein shake for later, and wonder if that counts as a (forbidden) snack? Probably. In general the red root stuff is less offensive. I accidentally refrigerate it in my lunch sack, and hope that isn't a problem.
• After work I again eat 3/4 of my kitchari out on the deck, and call my mom and some old friends I've lost touch with. I decide that although my husband is fantastic, I still need a wider support system. Relationships have been difficult to maintain, especially with everyone not dancing as much and going their separate ways. I double the spices in my next batch of kitchari.
• During my evening bath I decide to face some difficult emotions I've been avoiding, which were stirred up by two different situations today. For the 20 minutes I don't read, but try to get in touch with my feelings. I manage to cry just a little. Not a total release or anything, but it's something, since I'm not a crier. I theorize this as a root cause of an issue I've been struggling with for a little while now (which is a possible topic for a future blog post). I feel amazed that I'm alive, given what my mother and grandmother went through in their lives. I consider that I'm out of balance again: I used to dance too much, but maybe now I'm too far into the yoga, meditation, and nutrition and not having enough dancing fun. Though I'd been wondering why the heck I signed up for Boston Tea Party, part of me starts to look forward to it. 
• I love that I happened to do this cleanse so that it fell on the vernal equinox / first day of spring! I think I should do this yearly.

Day 3: Wednesday

• I meditate outside on the front porch this morning. It's lovely. The gym is also good, but I am running late and feeling a bit of the fear I always associate with that. I hope my morning kitchari holds me until lunch, given the good walk I had. 
• I end up having a walking one-on-one this morning right before lunch, and am surprisingly, minimally hungry! I eat my kitchari mindfully and then have my shake. 
• Two colleagues give me unexpected gifts, which makes me smile! Also, during a meeting I end up being funny with my notes and people notice (in a positive way). 
• Work gets a little crazy in the afternoon but I somehow multitask without the stress I normally feel. Even driving home, stuck in traffic, hungry and knowing I should have eaten by 6pm, it isn't at the same level at all. Listening to Wayne Dyer's Making the Shift doesn't hurt either! 
• I wonder how I'm going to do eight teaspoons of ghee tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is already day four--making my kitchari for the last time I feel sad; I was just getting into the routine. It has been so easy to do each night -- I have it down to a science and had to plan so much less. And it does taste much better fresh each day!

Day 4: Thursday

• I've been sleeping so well, both last night and the night before. I wonder why I ever got out of the "no-technology/water after 9pm and evening meditation" routine. 
• I am amazed that today's my last day. I take my ghee and meditation on the front porch again, since it's another beautiful day! The 8 tsp. of ghee is OK going down, but after light yoga and the Bar Method I feel slightly nauseous.
• I got way too much oil in my hair last night, and haven't been able to get it all out.
• I have a really great afternoon -- overall I feel very productive and at ease at work, even though I'm very busy. At 4:30pm though, I'm starving and I feel shaky. I decide to have tea. I will NOT break this cleanse in the final hours!
• What is it about a cleanse/detox that makes everything just seem easier? Is it the food (i.e. because kitchari and ghee is grounding for my vata-pitta constitution)? Is it feeling like I have that "permission" to take time for: self care activities like baths and massages; a mental "vacation" from stress; less strenuous workouts? Is it because I'm focused on the cleansing process? Why can't every day be like this--just easy! That would be awesome! I think it can be, if I allow it.
• I mess up the order of the day 4 final steps: I eat, then drink some red root tincture water, then prune juice, then dandelion tea while taking a bath and waiting for the "may or may not happen" laxative effect. Several hours later, there are no observable issues (or laxative effect)!

The Day and Night After: Friday / Saturday

• I can't get over how nice my skin is. "Radiant" I think, catching myself staring at my face in the mirror while getting ready for work. :-) I'm looking forward to a breakfast that isn't kitchari, although I'm taking leftovers for lunch. I feel so grounded and balanced between both feet. I do a light jog at the gym. I am very mindful during my shower, and makeup application. I lost 2 lbs, but I don't care, given all the other benefits!
• I have another busy yet productive day at work. A few times I feel like I've helped people, and that makes me feel good.
• My husband and I have a nice dinner out. I immediately divide my plate into the two portions it is, take half home, and have chocolate yogurt at home for dessert (proper portions). I pack a Sensible Medley snack and get ready to head out to Boston Tea Party for some dancing.
• I feel good listening to a friend while driving to the dance, and enjoy seeing people. I dance with a very sweet old man who tries to teach me how to Mambo on the West Coast Swing dance floor. I don't turn a single leader down, and I'm having a nice time.
• Around midnight, my ego comes out in full force, though I only recognize it after the fact. Disappointed but comforting myself with some compassion, I decide to head out. I manage to meditate and do alternate nostril breathing before finally getting to sleep around 1am.
• I wake up naturally at 5:20am, try to go back to sleep, and am up again at 5:45. I do my regular morning routine, but I have a headache and feel cranky, short of breath, dehydrated (even after drinking tons of water last night) and antsy. I feel like this just re-affirms the choices I've made over the last few months, and predict that my dance career may remain on hold for awhile.

Anyone else have a detox / cleanse experience you want to share? I'd love to hear about it.

Designing a healthy morning ritual, one step at a time

Most people who find out that I get up at 5 am every day think I'm crazy. While I've always been a morning person, I read a lot about how a healthy morning ritual would set me up to have a great day, experimented with different things over time, and experienced the benefits firsthand. My goal here is to help you create your own healthy morning ritual--one that fits into the context of your life. 

Step 1: Look at What You Do Today
You already have some kind of morning ritual. The trick is to look what you currently do, and consider how well or poorly it serves you. For example, say that when your alarm clock buzzes, you jump up, stumble into the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee. But maybe you realize the buzzing alarm startles you, and you typically feel angry about having to get up. Maybe you notice that your energy is consistently low. Maybe you'd rather not be so reliant on coffee to help you open your eyes. Or maybe you savor that cup of coffee because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and out.

Take note of what you love and what you might want to change.  

Step 2a: Pick One Thing to Stop Doing
Select one thing from your current morning routine that you know deep down isn't good for you, and set an intention to let it go. Now, no one likes giving something up, including me. It's difficult because it's change--and we're such creatures of habit. Sometimes you might even need to give up something you really love, in favor of something you've prioritized higher. Once I got into a rhythm of doing more self-nurturing morning activities, for example, I noticed that I went to work feeling grounded and positive, and I had a good day. But if I went dancing the night before (I used to be an avid West Coast Swing dancer), I wouldn't get to bed until midnight or so. Each night there was a dance, I faced a difficult choice. A few times I tried doing both, burning the candle at both ends because I was so loathe to sacrifice dancing. But ultimately I realized how powerful my morning ritual was, and let most of the dancing go.

Step 2b: Pick A Better Thing to Start Doing
When you give something up, it's easier if you simultaneously put something more beneficial in its place. If you stop drinking coffee, for example, but love the ritual of sipping something hot, try a coffee substitute like Ayurvedic Roast, Dandy Blend, or hot water with lemon. If you stay open to new things you may find you actually like something that's better for you. And when that happens, you won't feel like you've sacrificed anything!

Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what to start doing to improve your overall health and wellness. After all, there are so many options, and so many things we all think we should be doing. If that's the case carve out 15 minutes of quiet time, and brainstorm all the things you might try, considering these categories:

• Physical--e.g. get a boost by taking the dog for a 10 minute walk instead of making, drinking, and cleaning up after that coffee.
• Mental--e.g. read 10 pages of that book you never get to, instead of surfing the web and playing around on Facebook.
• Emotional--e.g. journal 5 things you're grateful for, instead of dreading your busy day and complaining about it to your significant other.
• Spiritual--e.g. meditate for 10 minutes using an app like Simply Being, instead of zoning out on more news coverage about the Super Bowl or the elections.

Now trust yourself, and pick one thing from your list that you feel you would truly benefit from and would enjoy trying. 

Tip: None of these things need to take a long time. In fact, it's best if you simply re-allocate the time you previously spent on your less-than-healthy activity. That way, you won't have to get up any earlier to fit it in.

Step 3: Keep Giving it a Go, with Self-Compassion
Giving up caffeine was also something I chose to stop doing. Even though I only had a cup or two per day, I knew it didn't compliment my naturally high-strung personality during the day, nor help me sleep well at night. But freeing myself of caffeine didn't happen instantly--it took about five real tries over a couple of years! Habits form for a reason, and they're not easy to break. Regardless of whether we label them as "good" or "bad", each of our habits comfort us in some way. So be compassionate with yourself as you try out ways to comfort yourself that are less familiar.

Whenever you feel you've "failed", acknowledge that you're trying, that it's hard, and start over again. And, consider Step 4.

Step 4: Evaluate and Adjust as Necessary
Even if you give it a real go, not everything you try to incorporate into a healthier morning ritual will stick. And that's OK! You'll know when something is right because you'll wake up wanting to do it, and feel weird when you don't. Stay flexible, and be willing to adjust your routine over and over, eliminating what's not suiting you (which might include some things you think are healthy or that you should be doing). Over time, you will replace each piece that wasn't working for you with a healthier thing that does, and have a complete morning ritual that sets you up to take on the world!

You might create a set of things you can choose from, depending on how you feel when you wake up, what you expect your day to be like, and so on. Like me, you might find there are things you want to add that you can't fit in, and you'll be willing to get up a few minutes earlier to incorporate them. Alternatively, you might get bored someday, or what worked for you for awhile might stop. No worries! Continue to experiment and revise your morning ritual over time.

Remember that designing a healthy morning ritual is a process, not a destination.