Unconventional Music for a Run

I have a love / hate relationship with running. In my 20s I did a few 5Ks for charities, always thinking I was going to die by the end. I struggled with bad knees and bum ankles. In my mid-30s I picked it up again, stronger, more flexible from engaging in other sports and of course, in a more dedicated yoga practice. I was training for a 10K in 2010 or so, when I finally over-trained and tore my Achilles one week prior to the race. I had been up to 6.5 miles at a good clip for a short gal like me. After that, I pushed the pause button on the running for awhile.

Well I'm back into the running thing again, trying to up my mileage each week rather than caring how fast I go. The more I do it, the less I hate it. And having my mind occupied while doing my run is of primary importance--I'm just not the kind of person who can find "meditation" in a quiet run. What's helping me run smoothly and calmly now may not be conventional, but I thought I would share in case you're someone who practices yoga and running, like me. Yes folks, I've been running to chants.

Here are three of my current favorites:

• Soulflight: Chanted Mantras for Healing and Illumination, Bhavani Lorraine Nelson 
• Live on Earth, Krishna Das
• Transform, Relax & , Rejuvenate, Vandita Kate Marchesiello (just the extended song track on repeat!)
   

Weird huh? Maybe, maybe not. In his book The Three Season Diet, John Douillard talks a lot about how deep breathing in and out through the nose can reduce the stress that an intense exercise like running can put on the body, and help increase the effectiveness of one's workouts. I read this book years ago and it made a lasting impression on me, because yeah, who wants to be huffing and puffing out their mouth, feeling like they're going to die after running? Not me. I wanted calm, relaxed running. And when I was training for that 10K, I remember using his suggestions on breathing and running that 6.5: when I stopped, I just, well...stopped. I wasn't out of breath at all, and I felt completely relaxed.

What does that have to do with this music? Most runners I know are looking for upbeat music, and even using BPM (beats per minute) to try and pace themselves. That's great. And it's not for me. What this music does for me is get me into a state of extreme relaxation. I get lost in not just the sound of my steps and the belt on the treadmill, but also in the soothing instruments and voices. My breath remains deep and full, without as much mental exertion on my part. And because I'm focusing on the repetitive natures of both the physical movement and the chants, my whole body feels completely in sync, completely aligned. I've started going faster and further with this music, believe it or not.

If you like this sort of music, consider making it part of your runs. Let me know your thoughts!

Post-run Smoothie Treat

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsweetened almond milk -- I use "Blue Diamond Almond Breeze"
• 1 scoop of Vega Protein Smoothie Mix -- I use "Choc-A-Lot" 
• 1/2 banana
• 2 Tbsp almond butter
• 1/2 one real vanilla bean
• 1 glassful of ice cubes

Instructions

• Toss in the Vitamix, blend, and drink (slowly if possible)!

How NOT to Just Say F**k It: 5 Strategies for Getting Back on Track

Let's be real.

Those of us who have goals around health and wellness aren't perfect. (That's OK, by the way!) From time to time, we'll make decisions that are contrary to the promises we make to ourselves. Some examples of goals we might have include:

• Limiting sugar | caffeine | alcohol | chocolate intake
• Exercising | moving more
• Going to bed or getting up earlier
• Reducing time spent watching TV | playing on Facebook

You get the idea.

So what happens to the day or the week when, for example, you have more than the amount of <whatever> you said you'd have; you fail to exercise, to get to bed / wake earlier, or to limit your technology usage? I'm sure some of you can relate to the feeling of, "oh f**k it, since I did / didn't do X I might as well (either do more X or do Y too)...". It's almost like there's a rebel that comes up inside us, pointing out that we haven't been perfect so "why not just toss the whole stupid idea out the window!" It can be very tempting, especially when that part says, "you can just start over tomorrow / next week".

That voice prevents us from starting over in the present moment. In other words, right NOW.

Here are 5 strategies to help you get back on track, in the moment. Have others? Let me know!

1. Discover the teaching and use it to create a new strategy: Write down why you did / didn't do what you wanted, how it felt at the time and/or how it feels now. Coming from the perspective that you did exactly what you needed to do at the time, explore what you could learn from the experience. What might you do differently if that situation arises again? For example: "I ate the brownie because really I was dehydrated and needed more water. The next time I have a brownie craving, I'll have a glass of water first."
   
   
2. Stop making specific promises altogether: Instead, bring more mindfulness to your daily activities, pay closer attention to how you feel, and honor the higher goal of "progress"--getting a little healthier each day. Let go of "measuring" every detail and allow yourself to be more intuitive about what is good for you and what isn't. In other words, focus on the big picture rather than the details.
   
   
3. Put it in perspective: Someone passed along to me a great quote from Jillian Michaels, which was along the lines of "so you messed up and didn't stick to the plan -- so what? You didn't ruin anything. If you have one flat tire do you then slash the other three?" One or two or even five of anything doesn't mean the rest of your day or week is done for.
   
   
4. Move to a different environment: Just eat an entire bag of chips after sitting at your desk for hours? Go for a walk outside. Sometimes change happens from the inside out. Other times, it can happen from the outside in. Maybe next time you think about having chips, you'll realize you just need a break, and take the walk instead!
   
   
5. Create appointments with yourself (and set reminders): Schedule the time you'll spend online, the time you'll exercise, or even the time you'd like to go to bed. When your timer goes off, stop, and do what your reminder tells you! Have trouble stopping and taking a lunch break? Put it on your calendar with a note to yourself. Here's one of mine: "Lunch: GET UP & TAKE A BREAK!" Maybe at 9 pm, you set a reminder on your phone that says, "Charge me, shut me off and go read your book in bed!" If it's scheduled, honor your commitment as you would attending a doctor's appointment, or going to a beloved friend's wedding.

Defining Myself as a Teacher of Yoga

I mentioned in my previous blog post that life events seemed to be pulling me deeper into teaching yoga, despite my plans to develop other aspects of my health and wellness consultancy, such as Reiki and Eating Psychology Coaching. Since then, I've also noticed that I'm being asked to identify what I really value when I teach yoga to a group of students. Here's the example that's driving this reflection.

I currently teach a range of yoga classes. In a single week, I may teach (in order of advertised difficulty): restorative or chair yoga, gentle yoga, hatha yoga, vinyasa flow yoga, and hot power yoga. Currently the former classes occur mostly at a studio; the latter at various local gyms.

What I often hear from students at the gyms is that my teaching is "slow". Most quickly follow that description with smiles and gratitude, telling me how much they appreciate it. A few seemingly present it to me with some disdain, as if I'd somehow gotten in the way of their intense stretching workout. Yet even when I create and offer faster and more challenging sequences for the super fit gym yogis, I watch as they consistently:

• Don't align themselves in the postures correctly, regardless of my cues
• Can't keep up with the speed of the flow
• Take respite in child's pose (which is awesome, by the way!)
• Are dripping sweat
• Can't focus their attention 
• Can't coordinate their breath with their movements
• Scrunch up their faces and hold their breath
• And so on....

Now, I'm not saying this to rag on any of my students. What is puzzling to me as a teacher is this: when I see these things, I do not feel that it's in anyone's best interest for me to pick up the pace, or otherwise add intensity. At the most basic level, my top priority is to keep my students safe from injury, so they have the opportunity to practice again tomorrow. Regardless of my plans for any class, I always adjust to the feedback I'm getting as I look and walk around the room. So what are these yogi's who negatively comment about my slow teaching pace searching for?

A former dance instructor was able to relate to my confusion. He said, "you are trying to teach people to dance, and they just want patterns." Meaning, the point at which a dance move or a yoga posture can be executed correctly (physically) is not the END of the learning process; rather, it's just the beginning. Yet many people who have difficulty executing even the basic physical shape in yoga classes--e.g. those who would be aided greatly by the use of props but refuse to use them--keep wanting more, to "skip ahead" to...I don't know what. Maybe it's just cultural: everything in our lives is so quick these days; slowing down to really feel into our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our souls is the real challenge, and it's too much. We'd rather continuing to distract with speed. (Believe me, I can relate.) However, truly advanced yoga students understand that this is the real intensity of their practice: yoga as a "work-in" (as opposed to a "work-out")*.

Anyway, this is a long way of saying that such paradox is making me think more clearly about what I value as a teacher of yoga (rather than a "yoga teacher"). My initial training in teahing yoga by two of the best yoginis at one of the most reputable yoga schools in the country started me on this journey, and I continue to develop and learn through my own experience what I feel is important to pass along to my students.

Regardless of where I teach, what my title or the official class title is, creating a safe space (through my languaging, my use of the environment, and my pacing) that allows students to explore themselves not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally is of utmost importance to me. That is how I define myself as a teacher of yoga, how I feel most authentic and true. It's how I maintain my integrity, and it's the kind of relationship I always want to cultivate with my students.

Teachers of yoga, have you experienced similar contradictions? Students, tell me your thoughts on "slow" classes.

An endless student of yoga,
Kali


*As stated by Judith Hanson Lasater

Do you smile when you're practicing yoga?

As a yoga instructor at both a studio and a gym, I teach many students who are brand new to yoga. It's not uncommon for me to have one or more people in my class who have never done yoga before, and are feeling a little uncertain about their decision to try it.

One of the things I emphasize in my classes, beyond encouraging students to tune into the wisdom of their bodies, in addition to asking them to really pay attention to their breathing, and above asking them to (try to) stay out of their ego by only going as far as their body and their breath guide them, is to SMILE!

Most students love this, I believe because there are many things in life--family, work, school, etc.--that we all take so seriously. So when students come to my class and I encourage them to relax, strengthen, and stretch their bodies by being PLAYFUL and having some fun, the relief is almost palpable. (Balancing poses in particular are great opportunities for smiles and laughs!)

On the first yoga DVD I ever had, Baron Baptitse said (at a particularly challenging point in the class): "lift the inner corners of the lips". I often find myself using that sly phrase--among other techniques--to get people to smile during my classes. For example, when we begin to extend our legs for wide-angle forward fold, I'll joke "OK, now don't everyone get into that full split just yet!" My YTT peers might sneer when I admit to have saying, "blossom your buttocks to the sky" (which I do if I think my students will smile at the imagery). Sometimes I feel a bit like a stand-up comedian, and it's really an amazing class when the students get into it. 

When students aren't into it, I'm OK with that. I either keep trying, or if the class is entirely serious, I might tone it down a bit. What I notice though, is that it's often the students who may have been practicing yoga for awhile who don't smile, or seem to really let go.  And, I'm writing this blog because I think they may be missing out. It's been my belief that making that small change in the face--moving the muscles of the mouth into a smile--helps relax the body and release tension. Sure enough, I've discovered that there's some science to back up my hunch. :-)

The Smithsonian and Medical News Today both reported on an interesting study done for Psychological Science back in 2012, where researchers "looked at how different types of smiling, and people being aware of smiling, affected their ability to recover from stressful episodes." What they found was that smiling (even when the smiling was "faked"), reduced participants' heart rates as they attempted to perform a stressful task. The Smithsonian article states: "Since heart rate is an indicator of the body’s stress response, it seems as though the act of smiling actually reduced the participants’ overall stress level." Although there are no available sources, they also suggested there were others who indicate "that smiling could reduce levels of cortisol, a stress-related hormone."

When we are in yoga class, we are taking various shapes with the body, some of which may feel different, unnatural, or challenging (depending on our typical posture throughout the day). When we're feeling sensation in various muscles in the poses, we are in fact "stressing" the body, although in a good way. We use the breath, specifically the out-breath, to try and send relaxation, love, and compassion to those areas in the body. And, I believe more than ever before that smiling is yet another, simple and easy way to help ease the body into greater strength and flexibility during yoga.

So the next time you're in a yoga class (mine or someone else's), and you feel yourself tensing your body, losing your long deep breath, or pursing your lips in great seriousness, try putting on a smile. Like anything else you do in yoga class, let the smile be an exploration: what do you notice in your body, breath, mind, and spirit as you do this? Observe, pay attention, and then decide for yourself whether to do it again and again and again!

P.S.: For those of you who are serious (pun intended!) about taking your yoga practice off the mat, here's a short article listing some of the other benefits of smiling: http://goodrelaxation.com/2012/01/health-benefits-of-smiling/.

4 Simple Ways Yoga Can Support Your Nutrition & Weight Loss Goals

Here are 4 ways that taking up even a basic yoga practice can support your nutrition and weight loss goals:

1. Deeper breathing. One of the fundamental concepts in any practice of yoga is its focus on coordinating breath with movement.
   
   Try this: sit or stand with your spine tall and long. Close your eyes and observe how you feel physically and mentally. When you feel ready, inhale as you reach your arms out to your sides with your palms up, through shoulder height and then up to the sky, where the palms turn to face each other. Then flip your palms out and exhale as you reverse the movement, bringing the arms and hands back down to your sides. How was it to coordinate your breath with the movement of your arms? Just notice. Repeat this a few times, seeing if you can slow the movements of your arms, thereby lengthening your breath.
   
   Why this matters: Slowing down the breath helps to calm the body, reducing the effects of chronic stress and inducing a relaxation response. When the body is in relaxation response, digestion improves, nutrients are better assimilated, and toxins are more easily released. Bringing this deep breathing off the yoga mat and into our daily lives helps us become more present to what is happening now, so we learn to pay closer attention to our food as we're eating. In other words, we become aware of the colors, textures, tastes and sensations that naturally encourage our bodies to metabolize food as part of the cephalic phase, leading to natural appetite regulation (not to mention, actual enjoyment of our food!).
   
   
2. Increased body awareness. How were you able to "notice your breath" in point one? Well, there's a part of you called the "wisdom body" or "witness consciousness" in yoga, which has the ability to observe what you're doing, thinking and feeling. In the practice of yoga postures (asanas), instructors encourage their students to "listen" to their bodies--for example, to notice areas of tightness, where there may be more space to move, how to improve their alignment by feeling the body, etc.
   
   Try this: For one day, set an alarm to alert you every 30 or 60 minutes. (Here's a chime I like, if you happen to work at a computer.) When you hear the alarm, pause what you are doing, close your eyes and pick a word to describe how you're feeling emotionally (e.g.: happy, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, etc.) Don't think too hard about it, just go with your first, best guess. Then, scan your body for sensations, starting at the crown of your head. Move your focused attention all around your face. Notice the areas around the eyes, the jaw. Feel your neck and shoulders. Scan down your arms to your wrists and hands. Observe the body all around the torso, front and back, along the spine, up and down. Connect your mind to your hips, moving your attention down your legs to your toes, first one side and then the other. Where are you tightening your muscles? Are there any places that feel "uneven" between the right and left sides? Is anything pinchy? Repeat the scan, this time making small adjustments--see if you can relax the tight areas, balance the uneven ones, or tweak your posture to feel better. When you're finished, call to mind a word describe your emotional state. Maybe it's the same one as before, or perhaps a new one. Whatever comes up is perfectly OK. Now continue with what you were doing until the next alarm, when you will repeat this process. See if you can discover places in the body you favor, or whether new areas of your body grab your attention.
   
   Why this matters: Increasing body awareness has many benefits for nutrition and weight loss. Much like the breath, our body does a lot for us without our needing to attend to it. But in today's busy world, we often "dis-embody"--meaning we tune out important signals, such as when we're hungry, when we're tired, when we're feeling full, when we're holding a shape that's causing muscular stress (e.g. sitting with poor posture), and when we're feeling upset. Dis-embodiment often lead us to overeat and binge eat, since both are "unconscious" activities that are really serving as distractions from difficult emotions and inducing relaxation (which we might find in other methods more supportive of our weight loss goals). By receiving our bodies' signals about when we're naturally hungry, we improve our eating rhythm (i.e. have more regular times of day when we nourish ourselves with food). This reduces the likelihood of us getting ravenous, eating too fast and too much. We also benefit from better regulation of blood sugar and energy throughout the day.
   
   
3. Yoga postures help improve digestion. Arranging the physical body in different shapes offers your internal organs a gentle massage, including the ones involved in digestion and metabolism regulation.
   
   Try these: Seated forward fold, wide-legged standing forward fold with twist, half lord of the fishes pose, cobra pose, bridge pose (or supported bridge). See also Best Yoga Poses for Digestion.
   
   Why it matters: Yoga postures (asanas) help improve blood and oxygen flow to the digestive organs, are stimulating to the digestive tract, and help to regulate the thyroid gland² "which is important for not only digestive function, but also the nervous system, reproductive system, respiratory system and metabolism regulation.³"Yoga has also been known to help with chronic digestive issues like constipation and diarrhea, bloating and gas⁴. A healthy, optimally working digestive tract is critical to meeting any nutritional and weight loss goals. If your system isn't working properly, your efforts will be in vain.
   
   
4. More compassion and self acceptance. Yoga isn't just about physical postures and breathing. It's "a progressive process of replacing our unconscious thought patterns and behavior with new, more beneficial patterns that are helpful towards a better life¹." Yoga provides a way for students to experiment with different class styles and instructors until we find some that suit us. It invites us into a safe space where we can explore letting go of our egos, going only as far in a posture as we can in that moment, regardless of what we may have done before or what we hoped we could do. Yoga encourages us to surrender competition with self and others, and to accept that this body is what we have to work with right now.
   
   Try this: Wearing something form fitting that allows you to really see your body, strike a simple yoga pose in front of a mirror. (Mountain pose is the easiest one to start.) With your eyes open, notice what comes up for you as you sustain the pose for a comfortable time. Are you holding your breath? What are you thinking? Are you worried about doing it perfectly? Are you involved in an internal dialog about a part of your body that you wish looked different? Are you comparing yourself to a photo of someone else in the posture? Do you want to look away? See if you can simply notice these thoughts as they pop up in your mind. Practice accepting whatever comes up for you. If it's helpful, you can imagine putting the thought into a "thought bubble" (like you see in cartoons) and allowing it to float away.
   
   Why this matters: Finding a style of yoga that you enjoy can replace the punishing exercise that you may do solely for the sake of calorie burning. (Note that over-exercise and exercise one doesn't like can contribute to the stress response, therefore defeating our best intentions at improved metabolism and weight loss.) Yoga's focus on acceptance and self-love can also help improve body image issues for those of us who struggle here. As Marc David says, "acceptance moves energy". Meaning, when we become more aware of our self-criticisms, self-judgements, and ways we habitually cause "self-induced hate stress", we can figuratively and then literally "lighten up". If you're someone who constantly beats yourself up over losing that last 5-10 pounds, or feel impatient at your progress if you have a lot of weight to lose, this refined view of the situation may be just what you need to not just let go of body weight or fat, but also toxic beliefs about yourself and the importance of these things in the grander context of your life.

Notice that I've said nothing about what food you actually eat. ;-)

Day 6 of My Spring Cleanse - Can't Believe I've Made it This Far!

I woke up nicely at 5 am, did my routine...planned that night's yoga class, did TurboFire abs. One thing that always bothers me about ab workouts is that I can't do the roll ups. There's just something about the way I'm built (or some still, unaddressed muscle weakness) that prevents me from doing that, and it's frustrating. I need to ask my new chiropractor/massage guy about fixing that. It would be a real accomplishment. But I digress.... I also got a survey out about my web site to help me redesign it better, and posted another day of this blog. Yay for productivity! And I wasn't tired. I had a full day at work but hoped to relax and watch the Samsara movie in the evening as my reward.

My lunch didn't feel particularly fulfilling--but I think that's because I like having the protein at lunch rather than at dinner, which is what I had been doing the last few days. This day I went back to the rice/veggies-only lunch. And I had my morning broth snack with lunch because I hadn't been hungry for it earlier (and had no time to get it, to be honest).

At 2 pm I headed for a gym break and I didn't last very long--I started having hypoglycemic symptoms, no! Shaky, dizzy. I haven't felt those in a LONG time. I came back and slammed down a protein shake and seriously considered downing my dinner at 3 pm. I only got halfway through my elliptical workout I think, something like 260 calories when normally it's 400.

I did end up eating dinner early, then teaching a private yoga session that totally energized me when I was feeling kind of tired. A trip to Whole Foods for more broth and veggies afterwards. I thought to myself, "I hate the chicken, I just do". I can't eat chicken. It's SO blah to me. Forever it's been that way, no matter what I do to it. So fish it is for next week, yay! I can eat fish every day and not get tired of it. Between that and loving heat and humidity I really think I was born in the wrong climate or had some interesting previous life history.

I was wiped when I got home but started working on some stuff anyway instead of watching the movie. It was partly because I also realized I'd not have enough time before bed to fit it in. Got to bed at 10 pm but couldn't get warm, so I futzed around until I had enough layers on.

Day 3 of Spring Cleanse -- Stabilizing?

Day 3 I got up, did my Netti pot (yay!) and meditated. Even did a little bit of yoga, then crawled right back into bed until the very latest that I could. Arrgh!! No TurboFire and if I don't fit it in somehow tonight before bed, I've officially "missed" a day--which would be the first one in 5 weeks of doing the program. It can't happen! Anyway, I noticed my skin seems to be improving...a pleasant side effect I've noticed from every cleanse I've done. Something possessed me to get on the scale: 114.8. I smiled, got more motivated, and started calculating how long it would take me to be back at my normal weight with that progress continuing.

My breakfast shake with blueberries was divine. I went out to eat for a lunch meeting and fortunately one of my favorite salads (John Harvards' lentil and hummus salad) was pretty cleanse friendly--I got it sans pita bread, feta, tomatoes, and added grilled shrimp (though in retrospect I'm not sure that was technically allowed; just fish and chicken). I did some time on the elliptical and ran for 1.5 on the treadmill. (I've gotten out of my running habit lately, especially with TurboFire being so fun and running being so dull--sorry fellow runners.) I've had a ton of water today and don't feel hungry, though I suppose I should have my second cup of broth soon, else I'm really running into my dinner serving, and there's only so much broth a person can drink at once. :-)

I got a headache again around 5 pm. And although I'm wasn't necessarily hungry for it, I ate the remaining half of my avocado with dinner, because it was clearly not making it to the next day. I also seemed to be a bit dehydrated though I drank enough water to fill a small pond.

That evening I taught what one student said was an "awesome [yoga] class". Then I decided to pick up my prescription refill on way to/from the gym in the morning (thinking maybe it would make me go back to a real gym--vs. the one at work). I did my 30 min TurboFire (yes!), took my bath with a rigged drain stop (saran wrap and a suction cup hook that fits perfectly over it)--which worked for the last part anyway, and got to bed shortly after 10 pm. I'm hoping to finally have a relaxing bath tomorrow (of course a bath pillow would be helpful too, but now I'm really pushing it!)

Spring Cleanse: Day 2

Ugh. Kinda rough!
 
I was up too late last night, so I couldn't wake up when I'd planned. Thus no Netti pot (which I need to start doing again since I'm starting to sneeze, and I don't want my allergies / asthma to come back!), no yoga, no TurboFire. Although I did manage to squeeze in a 15 minute meditation.

The shake for breakfast was yummy, this time with pears and some raspberries. The recipe is really making me re-evaluate the Rainbow Light Chocolate Rice powder I have hated in the past. When I got to work I had some water, and then most of a cup of green tea, as I started feeling tired around 10 am and that's allowed (though I really don't like green tea). I had my broth around 11, but I had a massive headache and felt really tired. I thought maybe lunch would help.

Oh, and while walking into work this morning down the garage stairs, my Achilles injury really tweaked. Not sure if it's the cute shoes I tried wearing since it's a big springy out today, or my body is just tired of exercising. I still plan to go to the gym but I'll need to stay careful. My neighbor posted pictures of me on Facebook from our Friday night outing--I hated them all. If I didn't look massively fat, I looked stupid, or old. That didn't do much for my mood, especially as she keeps telling me I'm awesome. I think she's great too but I still hate the photos and wish I looked different, but then again I've never been very photogenic.

In the afternoon I had a meeting go poorly, which put me in a sour mood. But, in the past I might have turned to one of the two bowls of chocolate candies that always seems to get refilled; instead I went to the gym and worked it off on the Precor EFX while listening to a Pimsleur Spanish lesson. (I'm hoping to go to Spain later this year.) That seemed like such a better solution! Of course I still felt the effects of the exchange into the evening, but hey, I didn't allow it to send me over the edge with food, so that's progress. I drank my second shake (as reward for working out) and then my broth. Worked until 6, then ate my dinner of cod with the same rice and veggies in the pic from day 1. I didn't much want the third cup of broth.

I got home too late to do TurboFire but decided that was OK. My bath was somewhat better than yesterday. I managed to keep more water in the tub with a wash cloth covered by a glass dish--still not ideal I know. But calling the landlord isn't going to do me much good. I need to search online for a DIY fix or contraption.  I got to bed at a somewhat reasonable time (10:30pm).

Spring Cleanse: Days -1 to 1

Here's a pretty uncensored diary of what happened to me early on.

The days before I began
I'm already starting off annoyed. Although my emotional eating binges have been under better control as of late (happening 1 day a week instead of a chain of days, and generally not as bad quantity-wise when they do), Friday ended up being a "bad" food day. Rather than getting angry with myself, I decided to look at it with curiosity and ask why. I determined that it was because I felt socially awkward in a number of situations.

On Saturday I "made up" for Friday--I went most of the day without eating (mostly from being busy). Had a nice quiche from Cafe on the Common around 1:30 pm, and then a lovely salmon dinner with veggies and wine with a friend for dinner. After dinner, however, a voice in my head told me, "you're going to be deprived for 7 days--go get yourself some chocolate cake." (Of course this wasn't true, given my cleanse criteria.) I was actually worried the stores would be closed, so I looked up Hannaford's hours, and I will shamefully admit that at 10:30 pm I drove myself there, went right to the bakery, and grabbed a familiar friend: "chocolate overload cake". Actually it's TWO pieces of chocolate cake, surrounded by the best grocery store icing I've ever had. I suppose it's progress that I made it home and got a fork before eating it (as there have been times I shoved it down in the car with my fingers probably as recently as 6 months ago), and that I took my time trying to find something on the TV. The whole time the voice in my head that said, "don't do this, you don't need this, you'll regret this" was overridden by a primal urge to do it anyway. Sigh. After eating almost all of it, I felt so sick I actually tried to throw up. (That never works for me, by the way. I seem to have a rock solid stomach no matter what I do to it.) And yes folks, the health and fitness nut has been struggling with an eating disorder. So yay, if it wasn't clear, it is now. I'm officially out of the closet. It's actually not my only issue (I've had a rough few years) but it's the only one I'll admit to now, and that's hard enough. For the record, I hope that this experience will help me better coach others in the future. I always say I like to experience something before I tell other people about it, so hey, I suppose it's part of my journey.

Day 1: a new start
This morning I didn't want to get out of bed, but I wanted to "weigh in" at the start of this cleanse at the time when I normally would weigh myself. OK, 116. The most I've ever weighed in my life--and after improving on the binging and getting back on a good workout program for at least a month, it's depressing because I've gained a pound. And before you start rolling your eyes, I'll just remind you that I'm 5 feet tall, have a stomach hanging out where my incredible abs used to be, and don't fit into so many of the clothes in my closet that I had to actually go buy "fat pants"--plus I wear yoga pants way too often these days (for that reason, and because I teach so much). It's all relative people, so before you tell me I'm crazy, think about that. My goal was to lose 3-5 in this 7 days, and this makes me really want to stick to it and lose the 5. However, I'm feeling much like I started yesterday--I don't want to eat because I want to somehow "make up" for last night's binge. And I know that's not the right thing to do. So I've taken my herbs and had my lemon water (something I do anyway, so no big deal)...now it's onto green tea (yuck) and making this protein shake thing I don't really want to have because I keep thinking it will be a ton of calories. But I suppose if I want to have energy to exercise, I need to "eat", and I want to do this program by the book so I can accurately report out.

I'm not constipated yet, yay. The shake finally allowed me to use up this Rainbow Light rice protein powder I haven't much liked--the other ingredients in it actually make it sort of tolerable, though I had to add in extra water to liquify it more, and I already miss the green smoothies I was doing in the mornings. If I do lose 5 lbs, I wonder if this is safe enough to do for 2 weeks and lose 10? After looking it up, it seems as though I can do it up to 3 months if I like! I'm aiming to do it for 2 and a half weeks now, to see if I can feel better about myself before my trip to Austin.

The broth is fine to drink (I bought mine instead of making it from fresh vegetables--it wasn't the work; I just couldn't bring myself to discard all of the veggies afterwards!). I went on a cooking spree this afternoon, making kale with ginger/garlic/olive oil, cod, brown rice (to which I added 1 tsp tumeric as it was simmering), and garlic/rosemary chicken on the George Foreman grill. I ended up with a lot more food than I expected, but I need more lemons. At lunch I added 1/4 avocado because I bought one, it's allowed, and it's going to go bad if I don't eat it over the next day or so. I was totally satisfied by the amount, and it reminded me of the Buddha cleanse. And I love the organic purple cauliflower I found--it's SO pretty!

I did my TurboFire HIIT 25 (from yesterday, admittedly) and am about to do Fire 40 (for today). I'd hoped to go to the gym too but I just can't fit it in, and that might be just a wee bit too much, even for me. I'm looking forward to my bath tonight, because I haven't taken one in awhile, and with getting my hair colored yesterday, it's easier than avoiding getting it wet in the shower. Plus, I stink!

OK, around 4 pm when I had my second cup of broth, it made me hungry. So I made a second shake and took it with me to my yoga class. After drinking it and as I neared the class, I felt very tired and didn't feel at all like being social, much less teaching a class. At that moment I noticed all my cravings rushing in: that chocolate cake I had last night, alcohol, Starbucks (or hell, even Dunkin Donuts--yeah, I've become a coffee snob). I thought that was an interesting association. No one showed up because after all, it was Easter. But I stayed in the room and practiced a trickier part of my flow, then laid in a restorative posture given that I had all the available props. Wow, was that nice. I think I was only doing it for 20 minutes or so but ahhhh....

I went home to have dinner (a LOT of food it seemed, especially with the broth too but I wasn't feeling stuffed), then to take my soak. I discovered a spider as I was filling the tub. Or rather, TRYING to fill the tub, which in my new apartment apparently doesn't hold water very well. I ended up laying in a few inches of water for the 20 minutes, pondering how to rectify the problem tomorrow. Stayed up an hour past my bedtime when I swore I'd be using this cleanse to get better rest. Sigh.

How Yoga Improved My Running

At the second half of my yoga teacher training, I decided to continue running at the fitness center's treadmill in preparation for the 10K I am doing in September. I didn't have a lot of time in between classes, but I managed to squeeze in 30-45 minutes every other day (as I do when I'm home).

I didn't expect all the yoga teachings to translate so profoundly into my running, improving it tremendously. The dramatic effects have continued now that I'm home, so I thought I would share them with you. I hope this post ties together yoga and running for my fellow yogis in interesting new ways, and encourages some of my non-yogi readers to learn more about how yoga can help improve your runs!

Before the Run
Here's what I recommend one do before a morning run, based on how I start each morning.

• Neti pot--clears the nasal passages, enabling easier breathing. As an aside, I believe netti is responsible for me being allergy free for over a year now, and no, I don't heed any advice about the brain eating amoebas.
• Warm or lukewarm water with lemon--hydrates the body on waking, and add all the health benefits of lemons.
• Yoga (asana) practice--15-30 minutes lubricates all the major joints, works out any stiffness from sleeping, elongates the spine and stretches the muscles. It also encourages deep breathing. If instead of following a DVD I do my own flow, I get more in tune with my body's wisdom, which is helpful during the run (see below).
• Meditation--just 10-15 minutes fills the body with fresh oxygen as it clears away built up carbon dioxide, strengthens the lungs and diaphragm, and focuses the mind. For meditation, I mostly focus on the three-part yogic (dirgha) breath--belly, rib cage, and chest. 
• Small snack (if needed)--prevents the body and mind from being distracted by hunger. I'll sometimes eat a handful of mixed nuts or 1/2 a BudiBar to tide me over until breakfast, especially if I went to bed feeling hungry the night before.
• Elimination--emptying the system (both ways) prevents the body and mind from being distracted while running by a need for relief!

During the Run 
OK, so here's where it gets more interesting. First, several koshas, or levels of being, are recognizable when one is running:

• Physical body (annomaya kosha): a focus on good posture / alignment. Some things I think about during my run include: am I rolling through my feet properly? Are my knees locked? Is my tailbone tucked and my belly drawn in to elongate my spine? Are my shoulders relaxed and moving down my back? Is my face and jaw relaxed? Are my arms swinging out to the sides (instead of crossing my chest) to enable deep breathing? I've found that moving from the ground up (as a yoga instructor would do to cue a posture) is helpful in maintaining good running form.
• Breath body (pranamaya kosha): a focus (obviously) on breathing. Back in February I learned the many benefits of comfortably breathing through the nose even during a run. I never thought I could do this, but it's related to "the edge" (see below)--in other words, if I'm gasping for air through the mouth, I know I've probably gone past mine!
• Witness consciousness (vijnanamaya kosha): asking the questions above while running means that part of the Self is aware enough to do this. Noticing when either the body or the breath is lacking "good form" and re-establishing it with compassion and without judgment, is key. In my experience, this protects the body and makes the run steady (stira) and sweet / easy (sukha).

So what about that pesky mind and all its thoughts and feelings (manomaya kosha)!? Many people, including myself, have probably spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to distract the mind during a run. Or, maybe that's when some feel they do their best thinking. Either way, I've come to the conclusion that taking the mind away from the run is not a good thing, because I'm not paying attention to my body or my breath--and these can tell me a lot about whether I'm helping or hurting myself.

Here are some yogic concepts I've found helpful in dealing with the mind during a run:

• Sense withdrawal (pratyahara): quite the opposite of distracting the mind through the sense is the idea of focusing on the body and breath during the run itself. When running at the gym, I used to: watch TV (both the images and reading the closed captions), people watch, listen to music, and sometimes read a magazine. I also used to look down at the display several times, which caused my mind to calculate the minutes left or set goals around the calories I should burn. In retrospect, none of this ever made me feel better, and sometimes it even made me feel worse. These days, I listen to Krisha Das (unlikely running music for sure!), cover the treadmill display with my towel, and gaze straight ahead at a single, non-moving point (drishti). When I run outside, this turns to gazing at the horizon as much as possible.
• Micro-movements: if one is completely focused on the body and breath while running and there are no distractions, then what is one to do when discomfort arises? Well, here's an example: the other day I noticed my left knee started to hurt, so I asked myself: "what small adjustment (micro-movement) could I make to relieve this pain?" Then I listened to my body for its wisdom and trusted it would know what to do. Within a minute, I internally rotated my thighs, and the pain stopped. Interesting, no?
• BRFWA: Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, & Allow is another technique for dealing with discomfort. Here's an example from my experience: it never fails that in minutes 3-5 of any run, I get really hot, and start sweating, and it's really uncomfortable. It used to make my mind think: "I can't really run, who am I kidding?" and "Maybe I should stop and walk." Now, I just notice it. I view it as an expression of my life force (prana) building with the movement of my body and with my breathing. I relax into it and it quickly melts away.
• The edge: compassionate self-awareness compels one to generate sensation, yet understand and respect one's limits. For me, this involved learning to breathe through my nose--I initially had to take my run way down, back to a walk (and be OK with that!) before building back up to a jog. Noow I do about 5.5-5.7 on a treadmill comfortably. It took a lot for me to accept that as my speed, but I'm consistently running 4-5 miles at a time, and finishing my runs feeling eerily calm and content
• Loving-kindless (metta): when running with other people on treadmills at the gym or during a race, I've found that the pace of others can be helpful or hurtful. I've started thinking of others as my running community (sangha), which consists of people who want happiness just like me. So, when I lose my drishti and notice someone running faster, or if someone passes me, I send them loving and kind thoughts. The same goes for someone ahead of me whose clearly struggling and slows down. And I send it to myself as well, any time I feel like a kosha other than witness consciousness has taken me over!

Please consider choosing one of these techniques and trying it out. It's done wonders for my running, and I'd love to know how it affects you!

Hiking Mt. Misery

This summer, my husband and I thought it would be fun to do more hiking. That way, we could get outside and enjoy the weather, spend time together doing something we both like, and get some exercise. And, since we got engaged a few years back at the top of Mount Hor in Vermont, it seemed only fitting that we chose to hike around Mount Misery this past Memorial Day weekend.

Around 8 am Monday morning, we headed out with a few supplies and our trusty instructions. We made the mistake of thinking we knew exactly where Drumlin Farm was, and initially passed Lincoln Road, but even with the backtracking we arrived promptly at 8:30. Parking was plentiful, and we saw the start of the path easily. We quickly came across a little snake we thought was dead (only to find on the way back that he must have just been cold, as he was very much alive)!

A Woodsy Path

After walking a little ways we came to the field. The path was clearly chopped about 4 feet wide across, but the grass was still a little high and between the rain and the dew, our shoes got pretty wet. A short time later, the path split: to the right it was still whacked down; straight, there was only a person-wide space through grassy-like weeds as tall as my shoulders. We pondered briefly, then decided the narrower path was actually what was referenced in the instructions, and continued on. This was in fact the right way, for when we got to the opposite end of the field, we came to another perfectly lovely woodsy path!

View from the Bridge

We then reached the bridge that crossed over railroad tracks that went in both directions, as far as the eye could see. It was really peaceful and had we more time, I may have sat on the wide wooden beams of the bridge and meditated into the endlessness. I'm not sure why, but I had a minor flashback of crossing the Black Diamond Bridge (maybe because this bridge was very stable and new, in high contrast to the scary, run-down railroad bridge that was very near my house in high school).

After joining up briefly with a bike path and crossing a street, we got to walk through Linden Tree Farm, and noticed they were growing lots of strawberries! This area was obviously packed down by tracker tires and very open, with a somewhat sandy terrain. After that, we picked up another woodsy trail into the woods and followed some wooden-stake trail markers, until we got to the point where you had to follow yellow trail blazes on the trees. Here it got a little confusing because there were multiple ways one could go ("two paths diverged in a yellow wood..."). Immediately before the summit, the trail got a little steep for a very short period of time, which was the first time it really felt like a hike to me.

Lovely Smelling Flowers

When we got to the top, which was really just a small rock platform that must have been some kind of structure in the past, we were accosted by a geocaching woman's dog. The referenced "Outlook" sign was nearly invisible, leaning quite heavily into the trees. There were some small cairns at the top, which we added to before heading back down and back, pretty much the way we came. Fortunately, we didn't have to trudge back through that field again!

The instructions said 2 hours roundtrip, but we made it in 1 1/2 hours, even with stopping and smelling the lovely flowers before crossing the road to the farm.
All in all, it was an OK walk, but I wouldn't really call it a hike, and it was clearly a mishmash of actual hiking trails connected together by cut-throughs of various areas (like the field, and the farm). Not a "misery" per se, but definitely not the best hike I've been on! Still, since we only wanted to dedicate a few hours to something nearby to Waltham, it did the trick. We got to talk, absorb some sun on the beautiful day, and did get some exercise. Also, if you're not up for a more strenuous hike (say, like one we did last year at the Blue Hills Reservation), it might be perfect for you!

What I loved about Be Healthy Boston

I spent this weekend at the first ever Be Healthy Boston conference, which was held in the Westin Boston Waterfront hotel. Brett Blumenthal, the President and CEO of Be Healthy, Inc., described her event as an affordable and experiential "urban wellness retreat", intended to introduce attendees to a wide range of new information and tools that would support us on our individual paths to health and wellness.

I'm thrilled to say that Brett really hit the mark with this one! Below are just a few things I loved about the weekend.

The People
Each morning the strong and beautiful Leslie Salmon Jones led a high energy stretch that had me shedding my hoodie in even the coldest spaces of the hotel. Terri Trespicio's no-nonsense style made for a powerful keynote, where she validated and acknowledged the doubt we can sometimes feel when trying to live healthy in today's culture, seemingly swimming upstream much like those who choose to be single in today's expectantly-coupled society. She took issue with the idea of being healthy as "being selfish," stating that everyone in our lives stands to gain from the unique, healthy lifestyles we are all capable of crafting. Candy O'Terry kept her lunch-time audience riveted with her powerful story and enchanted us with interludes of beautiful song. All that, plus Margaret Moore leveraged her roots in biology to give us all some great tips about organizing our frenetic minds.

Of course, it wasn't just about the speakers. From the moment Donna shared her experience of losing 150 lbs, quitting smoking, and curing herself of diabetes through diet and exercise, the attendees contributed a lot. Throughout the day I met a lot of wonderful, like-minded people, such as attorney-turned-Zumba instructor Judy, who told me about her studio and how wonderful it was to be helping people become healthier. Later I sat with needles in my ears alongside Elizabeth, a young girl with cold hands like mine who was taking care of herself by experiencing the whole event while staying at the hotel. I chatted a lot with Adam, the dude who checks me in for classes at Inner Strength Yoga Studio, who was excited to be teaching his first class later that day and is six years past touching a cigarette. I shared information from the different sessions and ran out for Starbucks tea with Dominique, a wellness / fitness coach and personal trainer, and finally felt like someone shared my deep interest in these topics. Over lunch I helped the oh-so-grateful Connie set up her iPhone to work with her Google calendar, and heard more about her studies in the Integrative Nutrition program.

Every single person I met at Be Healthy Boston was willing to talk and listen, and made me feel supported in my own personal journey into better health and wellness.  

The Information
Breakout sessions throughout each day provided a wealth of information on many interesting health-related topics. And with three choices in each time slot, I'm sure there was something for everyone. Lauren Mackler was an engaging speaker who reminded me of the internal family systems model, and how a systematic look at our core, limiting beliefs is what needs to happen for us to take action and live more deliberately. Husband and wife team Russell and Stacy Kennedy shared some amazing statistics about how food production has shifted since the 1970s, how our brain experiences hunger, and how we can use this knowledge to make healthy eating a part of our every day lives. Panels of experts facilitated by Terri and Brett helped attendees separate health from hype, and gave us tips for staying pain and injury free as we age. In the session on mastering stress I relearned the benefits of diaphragmatic breathing, and got to see firsthand how my daily meditation affects my heart rate and supports optimal oxygen intake--being connected to a biofeedback machine validated how I intuitively felt about the benefits of my practice (and it was so cool!).

I wish I could have attended each and every one of the sessions.

The Samples
The first morning I was overwhelmed with the size and contents of our reusable "goodie bag", which included tons of free samples from vendors like CamelBak and many interesting brochures. At the MarketPlace, there were enough healthy food and beverage samples available to keep us all well fed and hydrated (even without the wonderful catered lunches). I had the most amazing organic carrot cupcake from Local Pickins, sampled all the different flavors of Joos, and got to try juice, soup, and ice cream made in a Vitamix blender. But my favorite was definitely the Budibar--every flavor was tasty, and I couldn't resist making these my first purchase of the weekend.

And the samples weren't just limited to food and drink. Over the course of the weekend I was able to experiment with several different types of fitness, some of which I had tried before, and others I'd been curious about. HealthWorks taught a lot of great mini-classes, including Zumba, Core Express, and Yoga Beats. After being away from it for 10 years, I got to re-familiarize myself with Gyrotonics under the wonderful eye of Peter Breen from Charles River Gyrotonic. I tried using a kettlebell, and although I didn't click with the instructors on that one, I definitely want to investigate it more. My final mini-class, offered by the Bar Method Boston, took me back to my childhood ballet classes and reminded me just how intense and effective small, controlled motions could be!

The professionals at Dana Farber's Zakim Center for Integrative Therapies allowed me to safely re-experience acupuncture, and get a glimpse of what Reiki is all about. I enjoyed Dr. Kimberly Deramo's panel responses so much that I visited her at the Wellesley Sports Medicine table, and purchased her prescribed vitamin cocktail that will allow me to toss most of my individual pills (which I hate swallowing) and get almost all of my most essential vitamins from a tasty powder dissolved in a small glass of water (including a multivitamin, which I typically can't take at all because they make me nauseous). I also have enough samples of Omega-3s from Nordic Naturals that I may not have to buy any for months.

I wish I could have done some of the mini spa treatments, but alas, there were only so many hours in the days!

The Atmosphere
Lastly, I have to say that as far as conferences go, Be Healthy Boston had a great schedule. There was a lot to do, but the sessions ran on time and offered a nice balance between break out sessions and independent time to visit the MarketPlace. There was ample time between sessions for asking speakers follow up questions, taking restroom breaks, socializing, or running to Starbucks for a warm beverage. "Musical transitions" in the hallways, performed by students from Berklee College of Music and folks from the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, were also a very nice touch.


My journal is full of new ideas, my desk is overflowing with information to look into more closely, and Leslie's Core Power DVD is waiting for me in my workout room upstairs. Tomorrow I start integrating more healthy practices into my life, and I'm excited to see how my personal journey is impacted by this experience. I'm extremely grateful to Brett for organizing such a fabulous event, and also to Roman Szpond at Inner Strength Yoga Studio for having a fantastic studio that I love frequenting, for participating in Be Healthy Boston, and for posting the flyer that made me register in the first place.

I will definitely be there next year, and hope some of you will consider joining me.

Be Healthy Boston!

While taking my usual Thursday night yoga class at Inner Strength Studios in Watertown last week, I noticed a flyer for Be Healthy Boston. From their site:

"Be Healthy Boston is a two day urban wellness retreat, right in the heart of Boston! Meant to educate, inspire and empower members of the Boston and surrounding communities to live and maintain healthy lifestyles, Be Healthy Boston promises to be a unique experience in a unique environment, like no other."

This event will take place on January 28-29, 2012. I'm excited to see what they have, and I hope to see some friendly faces there!