My Solemn Vow to Self-Care

This afternoon, I am having a much-needed pedicure. Over the past month my poor feet and toes have been through numerous walks, hikes, yoga, and dance classes. They need some pampering, and a fresh new color! If you're anything like me, just "making an appointment" for such an indulgence can take a few weeks, as other, more important things (likely not at all related to self-care!) take priority.

And, if you're anything like me, actually ENJOYING these precious moments of self-care is equally difficult. The last time I had a pedicure, I preemptively apologized to the nice lady working with my feet because I had my iPod on and headphones in--likely listening to a module in my training toward becoming a certified Eating Psychology Coach. Yet of course the entire time, I found my eyes glued to the subtitles of the "chick flick" (possibly Legally Blonde 2) that played on the wide-screen TV in the boutique-like nail salon. Now what was it he said again? Repeat that please! ;-)

So today, as I embark on this hour of self-care, I solemnly vow not to take an iPod/headphones, a phone, a book, or anything else that might distract me from completely spacing out and getting completely lost and engrossed in some absolutely ridiculous movie. Can I do it?

Feel free to check in with me about that and ask how it went! :-)

AND, can YOU set aside some time for REAL, non-multitasking, complete surrendering and letting go of obligations, worries, work, etc. self-care today? JOIN ME!

Copyright: domenicogelermo / 123RF Stock Photo

Rice Paper Wraps Can Make Quick, Easy, & Healthy Lunches or Snacks

I've been making variations on these wraps for awhile now, and they've turned out to be very convenient for lunches and/or snacks, especially if you have to eat on the run. Here's the version I made today:

A "Wrap-Making Workstation"

Ingredients (per wrap)

• 1 Vietnamese brown rice spring roll wrapper
• 1/3 piece of Emerald Cove Organic Pacific Nori
• 1/2 piece of a whole heart of palm (from a can, sliced lengthwise into 2 narrow strips)
• 1 slice organic avocado
• 1/4 organic tomato (chopped)
• 1/4 c or less snow pea shoots (ends trimmed off)
• 1/4 c or less upland cress leaves
• 1 slice Applegate Naturals roasted turkey breast (if non-veg)

I like to cut everything up and prepare a little "workstation" so I can then just focus on making a bunch of wraps at once.

Directions

Ingredients Across Nori

• Rinse the spring roll wrapper under warm water until it's wet, and press it down on a hard surface (for the photo I used a blue cutting surface, but honestly I find it best to do on a clean piece of granite counter top!)
• Place the nori in the center so there's a strip to work with. 
• At the center of the nori, place the heart of palm strips, the avocado strips.
• In the gaps, place the chopped tomato.
• Put the snow pea shoots and upland cress leaves on top.
• If going non-veg, place the turkey breast slice on top of everything (it works nicely to hold in the other ingredients).
• Fold in the right and left sides of the wrap, squishing other ingredients slightly more into the center.
• While holding the sides as best you can, flip the end of the wrap that's closest to you up and around the other ingredients so they're secure. Then, holding in the sides and the top, roll tightly. 

Wraps on a Platter

Tip: This takes some practice. if you're having trouble, try fewer ingredients--it's easy to want to put in too much!

I generally make a bunch at once, put them on a platter, cover them with plastic wrap and stick them in the fridge. Sometimes there's a bit of condensation that shows up, but that helps keep them sticky; they dry out quickly again when you take them out. I'd recommend eating them within a few days, especially if you use avocado.

Other ingredients I've put into wraps include:

• Thinly sliced carrot or cucumber
• Different Applegate lunchmeats (like the turkey bologna) 
• Cooked shrimp (sliced-in-half lengthwise)
• Other sprouts (e.g. alfalfa) or greens (spinach, arugula, etc.)

And, if you have to eat on the go, you can generally fit 2 into a ziplock baggie. :-)

Reiki, Meditation & Yoga: Integrative Support for Mind-Body Nutrition

In this 10 minute video, I describe some ways that Reiki, meditation, and yoga can help you achieve your nutrition and weight loss goals.

How Our Ways of Speaking & Listening Can Mess Up Our Relationships

This morning I was reading David Deida's "Blue Truth: A Spiritual Guide to Life & Death and Love & Sex", and a particular passage ruffled my feathers a bit.

Deida was explaining that people with masculine energies are more directive, while those with feminine energies offer "invitations to action". He says:

For instance, you are supposed to direct someone, even your lover, by telling him or her what to do rather than by inviting their action through expressing life's feeling. Your masculine statement, "Please turn on the heat," is considered more honest than your feminine invitation-through-feeling-expression, "I'm feeling really cold." People who are particularly proud of their masculine capacity consider this feminine style of invitation to be manipulative and covert. (p.118).

Arrgh!! Sigh!! Grrrr!!! And unfortunately, YES.

Thinking through my most recent romantic relationships, I can completely relate to this. In talking with men, I have become very specific about what I want them to do, and sometimes even when and how I want them to do it. I have even coached female clients to do this to help them improve their relationships.

What Deida goes on to say, however, is that when females fully embrace this masculine way of being and talking, it leaves little room for the men in relationship with us to step up and take charge with a solution. In other words, we don't "open a space in the moment for your lover to fill with masculine direction." (p. 120). And since the masculine desires freedom from obligation above all else, this tell-him-what-to-do approach will (at minimum) suck the fire out of your relationship (as there is little feminine energy to play with the masculine), and (at worst), result in his wanting out.

Deida's not the only one I've heard saying that passion is sparked from clear masculine and feminine energies playing off each other (called having "polarity"), just the most recent. And after reading his "Way of the Superior Man," in which he very clearly articulated everything I've always wanted from a romantic relationship with a member of the opposite sex, I respect his advice. Here's my trouble and frustration: my experience has been that when I say something like "I'm feeling really cold" (which apparently is my natural, feminine tendency), men either:

• don't hear me speak (i.e. they're not listening at all)
• can't translate the invitation into the direct request "Please turn on the heat"
• don't act on that request

Deida goes on to encourage women to revisit this "invitation-through-feeling-expression" way of speaking, and what I like about this book is that he also caveats that with:

...if your masculine direction is more evolved than your lover's is, then you shouldn't surrender to your lover's masculine." (p. 133).

The "Way of the Superior Man" was all about how men need to create a deep sense of trust in their relationships, with Deida illustrating through thought-provoking prose how men do and do not "show up", thereby creating an inconsistency that does not lend itself to deep trust and opening by the feminine. In "Blue Truth", he speaks to men about how to re-engage with their masculine energy by "deepening their attention", which I agree is necessary for re-creating some masculine/feminine polarity, as well as trust and ways of speaking and listening that restore some of the passion in relationships!

Note: Before anyone gets riled up, please know that I'm not saying ALL men or ALL women have this issue, and know that I am very masculine in many ways (though as of late I'm exploring and trying to embrace more of my femininity). It's just something I've noticed in my personal experience.

What's been your experience? Are you a woman who has become more masculine in your way of speaking? Are you a man who frequently tunes out your partner because she's always "hinting" rather than saying what she really wants? How can we, as women, get a little more comfortable with our feminine voice? How can we, as men, get more attentive so our women trust us more?

4 Ways to Not Lose Your S**t While in Traffic

When I moved to Austin a few months ago, a local friend warned me about the traffic here. Being from Boston--where over the course of the past 13 years I honed my wicked Massholian driving skills--I casually brushed off his warnings much like I'd flick away a buzzing insect. Now, 5 months into adjusting to life in Texas, I will say that I'm still quite puzzled by how people drive here. I honestly don't get it, and I'm pretty confident that it's a large contributor to the traffic issue. But, I digress.

There have been times when I have felt stressed while in traffic; several local clients of mine have also expressed that driving is a source of lots of stress and tension for them (especially if they're Yankees like me). So, here is some advice about how not to lose your s**t while in traffic, regardless of where you're commuting to or from!

1. Find ways to experience pleasure / fun: this is actually my favorite strategy, which is why I list it first. An example of a safe way to do this while driving (or rather sitting in a parking lot that should be a highway) is to put on some awesome music. I prefer the up-beat, old-school, belt-it-out variety, but you may prefer more relaxing, new-age, meditative tunes, or listening to that book you'd never have time to sit down and really read.
    
   
2. Generate compassion for other drivers: this may be the most difficult, and also the most rewarding technique. Instead of thinking of what "that guy/gal" isn't doing right, try to imagine all the ways they are just like you. Maybe they're tired, hungry, or just had a fight with their partner. Maybe their minds are on their jobs, or thinking about doing something more fun. Another way of doing this is recognizing that it's not THEY who are traffic; to them, YOU are traffic!
    
   
3. Practice breathing: so many of us breathe shallowly throughout the day, and we are more prone to it when feeling stressed out. Breathing deeply engages the parasympathetic nervous system, increasing our oxygen intake and helping us feel calm and centered. Yet, we don't often have time to sit down and focus on our breath in meditation. As part of your daily self-care, use the fact that you're sitting (especially when you're not moving) to try a simple breathing exercise like counting your breath: e.g. "one" on your inhale, "two" on your exhale, "three" on your inhale, and so on. Don't force your breath, just notice how it is naturally. And when you lose count, notice that, and begin at one again. (Check out Andrew Weil's site for some other useful breathing exercises--though be careful of which ones you choose to engage in while driving! You never want to feel lightheaded or overly distracted.)
    
   
4. Create a mental gratitude list: we often read that listing things we're grateful for can help improve our mood and improve our relationships, among other benefits. But taking time to do this in a journal (at least for me) rarely happens. So, why not use the time in traffic to start listing off all the things you're grateful for? You can start with your current day, or look to your past, or even run through your intended future plans. Or you can think about people, places, or things. For more ideas, check out 60 Things to Be Grateful For in Life.

We tend to think of being "stuck" in traffic as negative, but each of the above strategies ask for a shift in our perspective. More specifically, traffic gives us time to enjoy and engage in practices for stress reduction. Since most of us find it difficult to include time for self-care as part of our typical day, traffic offers this to us. (Think of it this way: it's like when you're run down because you're doing too much, and then you get sick. Your body actually forces you to rest and slow down.) So, if we re-frame the time we spend behind the wheel, traffic is actually a gift!

How can YOU make your experience of being in traffic a gift today? If you have another idea to share, please let me know. We can use all the help we can get. :-)

Meditating Your Way to Healthy Digestion

In my previous post, I described 4 ways that yoga can support your nutrition and weight loss goals. Here, I'll offer some advice about how a mindful meal meditation might move you along in these endeavors as well.

About Meditation & Mindfulness

Meditation is essentially a practice in training one's mind, so it can be done anywhere, using anything as a point of focus. Applying meditative techniques when moving throughout one's day can be thought of as mindfulness. Since we eat at least 2-3 times a day, meal times are a natural opportunity for meditation, using food as our focus.

A Mindful Mealtime Meditation to Try

Light some candles, dim the lights, maybe put on some relaxing background music. Ensure there are no potential distractions, nothing within reach to multitask with. Then, sit down at a table in front of your plate, and take a moment to connect with your meal. Look down at your food, noticing the different colors and textures, as well as the arrangement of the food. You might like to use a simple statement, like, "I eat this food to be healthy and happy, to care for and nourish my body." This prepares your body for a relaxed eating experience.

Take only enough food as will comfortably fit on your utensil. Notice the first contact of the food with your tongue. See if you can identify the flavors: sour, salty, sweet, bitter, and so on. Notice how the food changes form as you chew it slowly. To help you focus on this, it may be helpful for you to place your utensils (or food, if it's hand-held) back down on your plate between bites. If you get distracted or find yourself hurrying, simply notice, take a deep breath and start again.

When your plate is empty, observe that. Bring your attention to your belly, and notice that you are nourished and satisfied.

Note: A nice book for bringing meditation into your daily life is Making Space by Thich Nhat Hanh, from which some of these concepts were adapted.

Why This Matters

In Inside Tract, Mullen et al. state that “mindful eating is one of the most important techniques you can use [to improve your frame of mind and prepare yourself for excellent digestion].” In Digestive Wellness, Lipski posits that "focus[ing]...awareness of the favors in each bite...can dramatically enhance [people's] total digestive function more completely than can enzymes, bitters, or other digestive supplements."

Why? Because eating mindfully and with presence not only activates the relaxation response, but also initiates the first phase in the digestive process, called the cephalic phase. Cephalic means "of the head", and it's how the brain registers that the body is about to receive a meal. It's how the brain knows to "turn on" digestion by doing things like releasing enzymes and activating stomach acids, as two examples. When we don't pay attention to our food as we eat it, we bypass this phase, meaning:

• our digestive capacity (i.e. ability to break down, process, and assimilate nutrients from the food) is hampered by 40-60%
• we are more likely to overeat because we are not aware that we are full
• our digestive system has to work harder overall, which can result in issues like gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and over time, more serious ones like gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), ulcerative colitis, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

Note: Why Being Mindful Matters is a nice, readable article on this topic.

4 Simple Ways Yoga Can Support Your Nutrition & Weight Loss Goals

Here are 4 ways that taking up even a basic yoga practice can support your nutrition and weight loss goals:

1. Deeper breathing. One of the fundamental concepts in any practice of yoga is its focus on coordinating breath with movement.
   
   Try this: sit or stand with your spine tall and long. Close your eyes and observe how you feel physically and mentally. When you feel ready, inhale as you reach your arms out to your sides with your palms up, through shoulder height and then up to the sky, where the palms turn to face each other. Then flip your palms out and exhale as you reverse the movement, bringing the arms and hands back down to your sides. How was it to coordinate your breath with the movement of your arms? Just notice. Repeat this a few times, seeing if you can slow the movements of your arms, thereby lengthening your breath.
   
   Why this matters: Slowing down the breath helps to calm the body, reducing the effects of chronic stress and inducing a relaxation response. When the body is in relaxation response, digestion improves, nutrients are better assimilated, and toxins are more easily released. Bringing this deep breathing off the yoga mat and into our daily lives helps us become more present to what is happening now, so we learn to pay closer attention to our food as we're eating. In other words, we become aware of the colors, textures, tastes and sensations that naturally encourage our bodies to metabolize food as part of the cephalic phase, leading to natural appetite regulation (not to mention, actual enjoyment of our food!).
   
   
2. Increased body awareness. How were you able to "notice your breath" in point one? Well, there's a part of you called the "wisdom body" or "witness consciousness" in yoga, which has the ability to observe what you're doing, thinking and feeling. In the practice of yoga postures (asanas), instructors encourage their students to "listen" to their bodies--for example, to notice areas of tightness, where there may be more space to move, how to improve their alignment by feeling the body, etc.
   
   Try this: For one day, set an alarm to alert you every 30 or 60 minutes. (Here's a chime I like, if you happen to work at a computer.) When you hear the alarm, pause what you are doing, close your eyes and pick a word to describe how you're feeling emotionally (e.g.: happy, sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, etc.) Don't think too hard about it, just go with your first, best guess. Then, scan your body for sensations, starting at the crown of your head. Move your focused attention all around your face. Notice the areas around the eyes, the jaw. Feel your neck and shoulders. Scan down your arms to your wrists and hands. Observe the body all around the torso, front and back, along the spine, up and down. Connect your mind to your hips, moving your attention down your legs to your toes, first one side and then the other. Where are you tightening your muscles? Are there any places that feel "uneven" between the right and left sides? Is anything pinchy? Repeat the scan, this time making small adjustments--see if you can relax the tight areas, balance the uneven ones, or tweak your posture to feel better. When you're finished, call to mind a word describe your emotional state. Maybe it's the same one as before, or perhaps a new one. Whatever comes up is perfectly OK. Now continue with what you were doing until the next alarm, when you will repeat this process. See if you can discover places in the body you favor, or whether new areas of your body grab your attention.
   
   Why this matters: Increasing body awareness has many benefits for nutrition and weight loss. Much like the breath, our body does a lot for us without our needing to attend to it. But in today's busy world, we often "dis-embody"--meaning we tune out important signals, such as when we're hungry, when we're tired, when we're feeling full, when we're holding a shape that's causing muscular stress (e.g. sitting with poor posture), and when we're feeling upset. Dis-embodiment often lead us to overeat and binge eat, since both are "unconscious" activities that are really serving as distractions from difficult emotions and inducing relaxation (which we might find in other methods more supportive of our weight loss goals). By receiving our bodies' signals about when we're naturally hungry, we improve our eating rhythm (i.e. have more regular times of day when we nourish ourselves with food). This reduces the likelihood of us getting ravenous, eating too fast and too much. We also benefit from better regulation of blood sugar and energy throughout the day.
   
   
3. Yoga postures help improve digestion. Arranging the physical body in different shapes offers your internal organs a gentle massage, including the ones involved in digestion and metabolism regulation.
   
   Try these: Seated forward fold, wide-legged standing forward fold with twist, half lord of the fishes pose, cobra pose, bridge pose (or supported bridge). See also Best Yoga Poses for Digestion.
   
   Why it matters: Yoga postures (asanas) help improve blood and oxygen flow to the digestive organs, are stimulating to the digestive tract, and help to regulate the thyroid gland² "which is important for not only digestive function, but also the nervous system, reproductive system, respiratory system and metabolism regulation.³"Yoga has also been known to help with chronic digestive issues like constipation and diarrhea, bloating and gas⁴. A healthy, optimally working digestive tract is critical to meeting any nutritional and weight loss goals. If your system isn't working properly, your efforts will be in vain.
   
   
4. More compassion and self acceptance. Yoga isn't just about physical postures and breathing. It's "a progressive process of replacing our unconscious thought patterns and behavior with new, more beneficial patterns that are helpful towards a better life¹." Yoga provides a way for students to experiment with different class styles and instructors until we find some that suit us. It invites us into a safe space where we can explore letting go of our egos, going only as far in a posture as we can in that moment, regardless of what we may have done before or what we hoped we could do. Yoga encourages us to surrender competition with self and others, and to accept that this body is what we have to work with right now.
   
   Try this: Wearing something form fitting that allows you to really see your body, strike a simple yoga pose in front of a mirror. (Mountain pose is the easiest one to start.) With your eyes open, notice what comes up for you as you sustain the pose for a comfortable time. Are you holding your breath? What are you thinking? Are you worried about doing it perfectly? Are you involved in an internal dialog about a part of your body that you wish looked different? Are you comparing yourself to a photo of someone else in the posture? Do you want to look away? See if you can simply notice these thoughts as they pop up in your mind. Practice accepting whatever comes up for you. If it's helpful, you can imagine putting the thought into a "thought bubble" (like you see in cartoons) and allowing it to float away.
   
   Why this matters: Finding a style of yoga that you enjoy can replace the punishing exercise that you may do solely for the sake of calorie burning. (Note that over-exercise and exercise one doesn't like can contribute to the stress response, therefore defeating our best intentions at improved metabolism and weight loss.) Yoga's focus on acceptance and self-love can also help improve body image issues for those of us who struggle here. As Marc David says, "acceptance moves energy". Meaning, when we become more aware of our self-criticisms, self-judgements, and ways we habitually cause "self-induced hate stress", we can figuratively and then literally "lighten up". If you're someone who constantly beats yourself up over losing that last 5-10 pounds, or feel impatient at your progress if you have a lot of weight to lose, this refined view of the situation may be just what you need to not just let go of body weight or fat, but also toxic beliefs about yourself and the importance of these things in the grander context of your life.

Notice that I've said nothing about what food you actually eat. ;-)