“Our intention creates our reality.”
- Wayne Dyer –
The intention you
have when designing a physical space can have a significant effect on how
“successfully” you will be able to live or work within it. You may have to dig
deep into your internal (emotional and mental) spaces to understand what your
true intentions are, to figure out why certain aspects of a physical space
don’t really support your purpose, or to discover which characteristics of it
contribute to positive beneficial feelings you could use more of.
Making Multi-Purpose Spaces Work for You
I believe there
should be a clear intention, or purpose, for every space in and around my home.
In some rooms, this kind of focus is pretty obvious: I designed my bedroom, for
example, to help ensure that I’d get a good night’s sleep. In other rooms
though, the intention can be less apparent. Should my living room be a place
for watching TV, playing video games, entertaining, watching a burning fire,
and / or chatting with friends and family? Is the purpose of my deck to sit
back and relax quietly in nature, to have large, boisterous outdoor parties, or
grow and harvest various vegetables? Because we typically have a limited number
of physical spaces, we may need to design them to support multiple purposes.
And I think this is fine—as long as those purposes are compatible with one
another.
I’m fortunate to
have a space in my home that I designed just for me, and this room supports
multiple purposes. First, I wanted to have a space where I could relax and
decompress from life’s hectic pace by meditating, reading, and doing yoga
postures. But I also needed a place where I could keep my body in tip-top shape
by doing strength training and cardio workouts. To start, I used the Kripalu
Center for Yoga and Health, in Lenox, Massachusetts as my inspiration. I take a
trip there every so often, always returning to my busy life feeling renewed,
refreshed, and centered. One of the rooms I particularly enjoy there is called
the Sun Room, which is ridiculously simple in its decor: some sparsely
populated bookcases along the back wall, a few (usually empty) desks,
over-sized and well broken-in love seats or small couches strewn throughout,
and a row of lounging chairs facing the wall of windows that overlook the
mountains. There are no distractions (it's a "quiet space"), and there
is no question about its intention—to help you slow down and relax. So, I
covered a daybed my husband had with blankets and tons of pillows to make it
the perfect place to sit and read (or curl up and nap), and added a big fluffy
rug at its feet. A few trips to Target later and I had bookcases on which to
store my various meditation and self-improvement books. All this satisfied my
requirement for a reading area.
Next, I used a
Shoji screen I bought from an oriental store to partition off a little corner
of the room as my meditation space. Behind it, I put my cushion and a timer,
and mounted a little shelf that would hold a few inspirational items. Above the
shelf, I hung an abstract picture of a woman meditating. Later, I added a piece
of art to the wall that I thought perfectly tied the meditation area to the
reading area. It says: “With our thoughts, we make our world.”
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| Reading Space | Workout Space |
For yoga and
working out, I needed the hardwood floor to be bare, and to access to
equipment—for example, a yoga mat, strap and block; weights and gloves; and
most importantly, a little TV with a DVD player and VCR so I could use my
videos. My friend Paige donated a TV stand, which I put into the corner and
filled with DVDs and old-school video tapes. I re-purposed an old coat rack
(which had a shelf and four large hooks) to hold the lighter equipment,
pleasantly surprised when the hooks perfectly cradled my rolled up yoga mat.
While perfectly
functional, I wasn’t completely happy with this room and couldn’t initially
figure out why. One day I was reading in our den, and I when I looked up, I
found myself thinking that it
cultivated the Sun Room feeling much more than my multi-purpose room upstairs!
Then it occurred to me that while it might be possible to combine the reading,
meditation, and yoga intentions in a single space, my workouts didn’t really
fit. The workouts I do are intense—many of the DVDs I use and the exercises I
do are not at all compatible with relaxation! The cardio leaves me speechless
and drenched, while the strength training circuits make me grunt and groan like
a thick-necked muscle man in a gym. When I do these workouts, the music is
loud, my body is pushed to its physical limits, and my mind works hard to
retain focus. Plus, because the different workouts require different equipment,
I can’t permanently keep anything inside the space, so it tends to look barren.
Now that I have a
better understanding of why that part of the space isn’t working, I can
investigate solutions, such as using a decorative fabric panel (or another
screen) to hide the workout area when it’s not in use, but keep the things
behind it easily accessible.
| Thought Experiments |
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Fostering Creativity in Your Spaces
Some time ago, I
attended a free social media seminar. During the networking hour, I got into a
conversation with the owner of the space where the seminar was being
held—Takako rented out different sized work areas in the space by the hour or
day to college students or other young people with entrepreneurial interests,
with no long-term commitments or leases required. When she excitedly told me
that the space “lent itself to creativity”, I was intrigued, and asked what it
was about the space made her feel that way. She told me it invited creativity because
nothing was hidden, and described how she modified it to expose all the
“bones”—everywhere you looked you could see pipes, wood, and brick. Takako
explained that when a space is exposed like this, one can feel safe to explore.
There are no hidden agendas or things one can’t see, lurking behind walls or in
ceiling panels. With this sense of safety, one is free to dream up new things.
I thought this was in interesting way to look at space, and one I hadn’t really
considered. Given that Takako was an architect, I assume she knows her stuff!
Based on this
conversation, I started thinking about which spaces made me feel most creative,
and what characteristics they had. The more I thought about it and talked with
others, the more I realized Takako was onto something with the safety angle.
For me, I’m most creative when I’m not stressed by clutter or distracted by
other people with whom I don’t feel safe. I usually need to straighten up my
physical spaces before I can do creative work and get into the kind of “flow” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
described. Similarly, when I fill my “time space” with the clutter of too many
tasks and the added anxiety about whether I’ll be able to get them all done, I
have trouble being creative. When collaborating, I might worry what people
think of my ideas, and can be afraid to take risks when others I don’t
completely trust are around—the fear of being criticized can stifle my attempts
at creativity. Yet when I’m alone and feel like I have all the time in the
world, ideas come rushing into my head regardless of where I am: sitting in one
of the Adirondack chairs on our deck, looking aimlessly out at the lawn;
enjoying a bubble bath; driving with plenty of time to get to my destination;
or waking up before the sun (and everyone else). I think some of my most
interesting ideas, clever solutions to problems, and best writing emerge (and
make me reach for Post-its and a pen pretty quickly!) when I am able to enjoy a
high level of safety in my physical, mental and emotional spaces.
Catering to the
senses in the physical space of one’s body also seems to be an important
requirement for creativity: friends have voluntarily mentioned hearing (for
example, playing music or inspiring videos); sight (looking at art, seeing the
dried colors on a painter’s palette, taking in the expanse of nature); smell
(for example, of wood in a workshop); and touch (having the right materials
available). The idea of stimulating one’s senses to support creativity struck
me as interesting, and at least two other situations got me thinking more about
how to bring more sense stimulation into spaces where I’d like to be more
creative. For example, one evening I was leaving a local high school after
taking a continuing education class, and one of my fellow students (who
happened to be an artist) randomly commented on the décor, noting how
everything—lockers, walls, stairs, carpet, seating, paint, and so on—was
covered in tan and dark blue. Sure I thought it was dull, but she lamented the
lost opportunities to inspire young minds because of the lack of stimulation in
the physical space in which they were sent to expand their thinking! I also had recently attended a virtual
seminar at work about “Gamestorming”, by Dave Gray. In it, he cited a study done by Elizabeth Gould,
which apparently contradicted earlier studies that brain cells do not
regenerate. Turns out, when mice were kept in small cages (with little
stimulation), her results were consistent with the original research. But when
the mice were given more freedom and stimulation in their environment (in the
form of colors, activities they could do to acquire food, and so on), their
brain cells actually did regenerate.
Dave then made a wonderful analogy to the cubes in our typical office
environments, and how we “could not have done a better job” stifling creativity
in most workplaces!
Noticing when you
are most creative and thinking about how the physical and mental spaces you are
in at the time support or hinder your creativity can be a useful exercise for
anyone wanting to bring more fresh ideas into their lives.
| Thought Experiments |
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Escaping Your Typical Spaces
Even the smallest
changes to the spaces in my life can sometimes free me up and help me get
unstuck. Whether it’s a problem I’m trying to solve, or I’m just feeling
overwhelmed with everything I have to do and can’t seem to move in any
direction, creating a simple, short escape from either my current mental or
physical space always seems to do the trick. For example, after visiting some
friends one holiday weekend, I planned to work on this book. I didn’t sleep
well the night before, and I woke up feeling cranky and sore (likely from all
the driving). As the hours of the day ticked by, my anxiousness about not
having written anything started to build. I had no energy and grew tired of
hearing my own complaints, so I decided to go for a walk with my husband. As we
did our typical loop through the neighborhood, I continued to complain about
how overwhelmed I felt, how I’d never be able to get this book written in my
spare time, and so on. He kindly alternated between listening, and asking
questions that annoyed me at first, but then got me thinking. By the time we
finished the walk, I was ready to just sit down and write already! The Thursday
night before this same holiday weekend, I was nearing the end of a stressful
week at work. I had a meeting marathon that Monday, then two full days of
training, followed by a day packed with sessions I had to facilitate. We were
leaving Friday after work, and I was trying to pack while practicing a
presentation I had to deliver at a meeting the next morning. (I had to temporarily
leave another meeting to give it, that’s how crazy my schedule was!) When my
husband came home from softball that evening, I was in total panic. I didn’t
feel comfortable with the presentation, I’d been going non-stop since I walked
in the door, and I wasn’t anywhere near packed. I distinctly recall standing
with my hands on the kitchen island, bending over with my head down between my
arms, and feeling like something had to give. I eventually told him I was going
to go upstairs and practice the presentation, because packing could technically
wait until tomorrow after work if it had to. But then I got a better idea. I
decided that before practicing the presentation, I needed to just stop.
I sat in meditation for twenty minutes before practicing, finishing my packing,
and having some time to spare! The bottom line is, taking just a few minutes to
escape your current physical or mental spaces (even when you feel you have no
time) can make you so much more resilient and productive.
Of course,
everyone recognizes that as larger, more drastic changes to one’s physical and
mental scenery, vacations are the ultimate escape. Whether they’re short
“staycations” or week-long trips away, there’s something about removing
yourself from the routine aspects of life that can really rejuvenate you. At
the beginning of May I went with my friend Vianne to West Palm Beach, Florida
for a long weekend. The weather in Boston was cold and rainy, and when we
arrived, our moods were instantly improved by the sun and the warm, humid air.
Over the weekend we shopped, ate and drank, soaked in the sun, and let go of
all the things we typically worried about. Personally, the beach is one of my
favorite places to escape to, and why I decided my bedroom décor should be
inspired by it.
To create my
escape inside this room, I first found a very nice patchwork quilt with
matching pillow shams at an outlet store in Kittery, Maine. The patches are
squares of different colors and textures—some shiny and silver, some silky and
lilac-colored, others velvety and blue. I am a fan of decorating rooms based on
a central element, and this bedding ensemble was it! I already had a neutral tan carpet and some
black Pottery Barn furniture, so the walls needed some color. This room also
had a cathedral ceiling with two of the walls extending high up into a loft,
whose walls I had already daringly painted a dark burgundy. I thought a light
purple would look nice joining up with the burgundy, so I painted two of the
walls a lilac, pulling one of the colors from the quilt. I also wanted to pull
one of the blues into the walls, but not have the same colors on opposite
walls. For some reason, I was obsessed with not having the different colored
walls look too symmetrical. I laid on my bed for hours upon hours until I
figured out how to organize the colors on the various walls so they’d be just a
tad off!
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| Beach-themed Bedroom | |
Looking back, I
understand why I couldn’t have the
colors on the walls be completely symmetrical: the beach (in other words nature)
is not in any way, shape, or form symmetrical—it’s random, whimsical, and free,
with the kind of total abandon that allows you to relax and encourages you to
just..let..go. Anyway, I completed the look by finding the perfect artwork for
the wall above the bed— a photo of a dock that led to the beach, at dusk, just
as the sky broke into a soft shade of purple. I had it framed in black with
gold trim (to match the furniture).
| Thought Experiments |
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Reframing Your Space Perceptions
It’s easy in
today’s fast-paced world to get “burnt out” on the physical spaces one lives or
works in. At these times, it’s also tempting to think about making a physical
move like changing your job or moving. Some people I know have made these kinds
of changes to their living or working spaces and have reaped tremendous
benefits in their mental and emotional spaces as a result. And, I’ve seen even
more people hop from place to place, on an endless search for something they
never seem to find. After thinking about this a great deal, I’m of the mind
that reframing one’s perception of a physical space with a clear, internal
purpose can be an effective alternative.
For example, I
currently work at a software company, and since taking on more management
responsibilities my “time space” no longer feels like my own. There are days
(some consecutive!) where I am in collaborative meetings with colleagues
straight through from nine to five, and am still expected to get individual
work done. We have three buildings on campus, so getting to meetings often
involves traveling, and there are really no designated breaks for things like
grabbing a coffee, eating lunch, or even stopping to use the rest room. Not
long ago, I started getting into a state about this, feeling anxious about
keeping colleagues waiting and watching as my resentment about the lack of
space in my schedule grew more intense. My out-of-work life wasn’t much
better—my mornings were packed with exercise, meditation, and writing, plus I
had a busy post-work social calendar, meeting up with friends for dinner,
dancing, taking classes in other things that interested me, and so on. I
basically never slowed down!
I started to
daydream about my ideal day, which allowed me the freedom to do what I wanted
when I wanted. What if I could take a half hour nap whenever I felt tired? Or,
if I was suddenly motivated to write a poem, I could go scribble it down? Or if
I could use the mornings (when I’m typically more creative) as meeting-free,
sketching time? What if I could meet a friend for lunch on occasion, and have
my after-work time free? What if I was able to work on whatever task I was most
motivated to do at a particular time (work or home-related), instead of being
forced into a specific time box in which to do a subset of the tasks I needed
to accomplish? Unless you work for yourself, you probably can relate to what
I’m describing. But the reality is, society has a way of forcing us into
schedules that don’t always sync up with what our bodies or our minds truly
want to do.
So what could I do
to improve my situation? Should I really stop exercising and doing my
meditation? That didn’t seem right! Should I change jobs, or become a
consultant and work for myself? It
seemed like after the initial distraction of something new, I’d end up in a
similar place. Should I stop doing all the fun things I picked up after work,
given that they typically fulfilled me more than my job and kept my social
circles alive? At first I felt trapped,
but slowly came to realize I still had choices.
I thought back to
an exercise my friend Paige and I had done a while back, intent on discovering
our personal values. These values permeated both our work and home lives, and
were a good representation of what made each of us feel happy and content.
Perhaps obviously, one of mine happens to be “quality me time”. If I don’t have
enough space for myself, I feel unsettled. Taking that personal value into
account, I decided to make small changes to things that were under my
control—and most of that had less to do my actual physical spaces than with
shifts in my mental ones.
I started with my
morning routine. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that my
exercising and meditating activities were my choice, and really part of taking
care of myself! And if I wanted to do
something else with the hour and a half (like writing, reading, or sleeping),
no one was stopping me. As soon as I mentally reframed the situation in this
way, I appreciated doing these activities again, knowing that if I wanted to, I
could always reclaim the time for different things (or nothing). Next, I
started thinking about small changes I could make at work that would make me
feel more comfortable. For example, because I felt I sat too much during the
day, I now have a standing workstation, and I suggest “walking meetings”
whenever I have one-on-ones with people (and the weather is good).
Interestingly enough, others are appreciative of the idea and often take me up
on my offer. I’ve actually started taking stretch breaks every hour or so. And,
if I’m late to a meeting because I had to prepare a nutritious lunch or take a
rest room break, I have gotten better about making my colleagues wait (though
in truth, several of them are late too)! They’d have to say for sure, but I
think I’m more pleasant to deal with and more engaged in the meetings because I
feel less stressed overall. So what about my busy social life? While it took
about a month to shift things, I now have certain designated days of the week
where I do something out, and other ones that are non-negotiable “open” days.
That’s not to say I always do nothing on those days, but having the open space
(as opposed to being scheduled every night) gives me more freedom to decide what to do. Whenever a possible activity
comes up, I ask myself how closely it aligns with my other four personal
values, and make a decision about whether to attend by prioritizing it against
other things I could be doing with the time. And if I borrow from an open day
because scheduling requires it, I’m sure to give myself one back!
I’ve learned that
when you have a clear understanding of what really makes you feel good, you can
look around and make small changes to your physical and mental spaces to
improve your situation. Although sometimes they’re worth the risk, big,
sweeping changes aren’t always necessary, and won’t always improve things. A
collection of little changes over time can be even more effective not only
because they help you deal with spaces you can’t change, but because they have
a side effect of making you feel more confident and empowered.
| Thought Experiments |
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