Day 7 of My Spring Cleanse--the Slowest Loser

My night was filled with even more wacky dreams. But when these happen now, I remember that it's just me "detoxing". I distinctly remember having a snake chasing me, and feeling afraid. My pals over at dreammoods.com tell me that:

If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive change.

Of course my acupuncturist says its the Kundalini rising.

I was worried slightly about the Ayuvedic workshop I was supposed to teach, not because of doing it but because I've heard nothing from the studio owner yet. Luckily it's not too far, so if I show up and it's off, it won't be a big deal.

Weigh in is 113.6. Great direction. Not fast enough! The cleanse stated more like 10 lbs in 7 days. That's 2.4 for me folks. And I'm not even having the fruit two nights a week as "dessert" which you can have. Though I admit to having 5 strawberries before bed last night because I was hungry. And I'm still working out.  I skipped my bath the night before because I ran out of time in the day, and I had someone coming to look at it today so hopefully I'll have a better experience when the tub actually holds water. I'm was also supposed to do a sushi dinner this night. I wasn't worried about that -- I was worried about temptation to get an alcoholic beverage!

At the gym I decided that yes, I'm doing this for at least another 7 days. Why? A bunch of reasons:

• I remember it takes my body about 3 weeks to react to things like this. So, one isn't enough time.
• I like the routine, and the food. I don't have to think about it so much, which is nice given my busy schedule.
• I am noticing some changes in my body that I'm liking, and looking good for a trip to Austin in a few weeks, where the weather will likely be lovely and I'll want to fit into more of my clothes, is something that's motivating.
• I am losing weight, and I do feel better. My skin has improved (except for matching pimples at my temples as of late--coincidence of where the toxins are trying to escape? LOL).
• Honestly, I like the excuse of "being on a cleanse" for avoiding things, even if it's just me fighting with myself. "Ooh, Starbucks." "Nope, cleanse!" "Oh right, OK!"
• Some of the rings that haven't been fitting me do now. I had started feeling puffy a few months ago, and thought it coincided with new medication I was taking, but I think now it was more the caffeine and alcohol I got myself back to drinking. This cleanse is targeted at removing toxins and inflammation, so in that sense, perhaps it's working.

I tried a different smoothie recipe in the morning, this one with silken tofu and soy milk instead of rice protein powder. I can't say I like it as much, though it was pink from all the strawberries I put in! However, it wasn't a fair comparison. I skipped the tablespoon of nut butter since I had 10 almonds before going to the gym. Figured I had been nutty enough.

At 10:30 I had decided to treat myself to a massage, from a guy my neighbor knows. I had no idea what to expect, but that hour was AMAZING and I am totally doing it again. I can't speak highly enough of Jeff Neer. 

The workshop turned out to be great. 5 people--one engineer and a medical doctor! It was interesting for me to get challenging questions and to hear what they (and the others) had to say. They told me I looked like I was "glowing" (from the cleanse). My hip felt like it stayed in place since my session with Jeff too. I really felt physically balanced. I left feeling so good emotionally too. What an amazing day!

After that I was turned onto an easy solution for my leaky tub drain. Yay! A quick run to Home Depot also allowed me to get some keys copied, which was on my list of things to do. The worker who ended up copying them for me was hysterical. He had me laughing the whole time we interacted.

Then I was off for my sushi dinner at Basho in Boston. Ooops, it was game night, but only after circling for a bit parking was located at the Landmark. I ended up splitting a Mowa Kowa unfiltered sake (hey, it's organic) and got a decent amount of food. Then I split a chocolate lava cake / ice cream. Oh well.

Oh, but then my favorite bartender made me a crazy mixed drink at home, and I downed 2 1/2 glasses. No bath, minus 1 broth, plus a ton of alcohol and a moderate amount of chocolate. But, it WAS flourless. Oh well! I guess the cleanse is officially over.

Day 6 of My Spring Cleanse - Can't Believe I've Made it This Far!

I woke up nicely at 5 am, did my routine...planned that night's yoga class, did TurboFire abs. One thing that always bothers me about ab workouts is that I can't do the roll ups. There's just something about the way I'm built (or some still, unaddressed muscle weakness) that prevents me from doing that, and it's frustrating. I need to ask my new chiropractor/massage guy about fixing that. It would be a real accomplishment. But I digress.... I also got a survey out about my web site to help me redesign it better, and posted another day of this blog. Yay for productivity! And I wasn't tired. I had a full day at work but hoped to relax and watch the Samsara movie in the evening as my reward.

My lunch didn't feel particularly fulfilling--but I think that's because I like having the protein at lunch rather than at dinner, which is what I had been doing the last few days. This day I went back to the rice/veggies-only lunch. And I had my morning broth snack with lunch because I hadn't been hungry for it earlier (and had no time to get it, to be honest).

At 2 pm I headed for a gym break and I didn't last very long--I started having hypoglycemic symptoms, no! Shaky, dizzy. I haven't felt those in a LONG time. I came back and slammed down a protein shake and seriously considered downing my dinner at 3 pm. I only got halfway through my elliptical workout I think, something like 260 calories when normally it's 400.

I did end up eating dinner early, then teaching a private yoga session that totally energized me when I was feeling kind of tired. A trip to Whole Foods for more broth and veggies afterwards. I thought to myself, "I hate the chicken, I just do". I can't eat chicken. It's SO blah to me. Forever it's been that way, no matter what I do to it. So fish it is for next week, yay! I can eat fish every day and not get tired of it. Between that and loving heat and humidity I really think I was born in the wrong climate or had some interesting previous life history.

I was wiped when I got home but started working on some stuff anyway instead of watching the movie. It was partly because I also realized I'd not have enough time before bed to fit it in. Got to bed at 10 pm but couldn't get warm, so I futzed around until I had enough layers on.

Day 5 of My Spring Cleanse--A Bit Disappointed

This morning the scale said 114.0. I was hoping more like 113.6, to keep in line with the earlier drop. However, I suppose it's still progress. I wonder whether it's because of the eating out on Tuesday, although I did well with the cleanse-friendly salad. Alternatively, I haven't felt like I needed the second shake in the afternoon, yet I've had it as a "treat". I think today I'll try going without. I also don't have serious workout plans today so I think that's a safe bet. My skin still looks good, and the other great thing is that one of my favorite rings that hasn't fit me in awhile because my fingers had puffed up for some reason is back on!

In the afternoon I went too long without drinking broth and ended up really hungry around 4. I experienced some tiredness and a bit of a headache, but it's a duller one now.

While making the shake (this time with strawberries that were going to go bad) I still made two, thinking I wouldn't drink the second one if I didn't need it. But subbing a 6 pm class in Marlboro made me realize I was glad I had it. I drank it with dinner around 4:30 and then headed out; barely made it there in time. I ended up teaching 4 lovely students and then filling in for a meditation class with 8. It was awesome!

I came home and drank one more cup of broth, but overall I was minus one for the day. The improved bath was better--I started filling the tub via the shower, holding my contraption over the drain and then switching to tub once there was some water in it.

That might I had some really wacky dreams -- one of the directors at work and I kept running into each other at different stores, like Target, each carrying notebooks of stuff we had to do/get. Every time we'd see each other we'd smile or make an understanding comment (she had her husband in tow and I was alone). Then she ended up buying our management team little wacky tubes of toothpaste (all different). I didn't like the one I got so I traded with one of the other managers. Try that one on, dreammoods.com!

Day 4 of My Spring Cleanse -- Steady as She Goes!

I woke up well rested and did everything I wanted to in the morning, including getting up at 5 am again (hooray!), yoga, meditation, gym. I also ran to CVS to handle a prescription while it was early and less annoying. (I hate them, but that's another story for another time.)

I have making my morning shake down to a science. On the drive into work I noticed that the line for Dunkin Donuts was backed up all the way onto Route 9--and I think to myself, "once I'm at my ideal weight a morning coffee will be the first thing I will add back in". Really!? I dreaded my meeting marathon work day but managed through it.

When I got home, and--here's how efficient I am--I put the rice on the stove (which takes 45 minutes) and while it was cooking I did my TurboFire 40 workout, so when it was finished  so was I! I also sautéed up the chard and spinach that were left over from my green smoothies with some ginger and garlic, and tossed in the rest of the baby carrots for dinner, since I had chicken in my lunch today. For some reason I'm loving the brown rice with lots of salt.

I'm excited and optimistic for myself if I keep this up. And I decided to weigh in after another two full days, which would be tomorrow. Fingers crossed for more progress!

Day 3 of Spring Cleanse -- Stabilizing?

Day 3 I got up, did my Netti pot (yay!) and meditated. Even did a little bit of yoga, then crawled right back into bed until the very latest that I could. Arrgh!! No TurboFire and if I don't fit it in somehow tonight before bed, I've officially "missed" a day--which would be the first one in 5 weeks of doing the program. It can't happen! Anyway, I noticed my skin seems to be improving...a pleasant side effect I've noticed from every cleanse I've done. Something possessed me to get on the scale: 114.8. I smiled, got more motivated, and started calculating how long it would take me to be back at my normal weight with that progress continuing.

My breakfast shake with blueberries was divine. I went out to eat for a lunch meeting and fortunately one of my favorite salads (John Harvards' lentil and hummus salad) was pretty cleanse friendly--I got it sans pita bread, feta, tomatoes, and added grilled shrimp (though in retrospect I'm not sure that was technically allowed; just fish and chicken). I did some time on the elliptical and ran for 1.5 on the treadmill. (I've gotten out of my running habit lately, especially with TurboFire being so fun and running being so dull--sorry fellow runners.) I've had a ton of water today and don't feel hungry, though I suppose I should have my second cup of broth soon, else I'm really running into my dinner serving, and there's only so much broth a person can drink at once. :-)

I got a headache again around 5 pm. And although I'm wasn't necessarily hungry for it, I ate the remaining half of my avocado with dinner, because it was clearly not making it to the next day. I also seemed to be a bit dehydrated though I drank enough water to fill a small pond.

That evening I taught what one student said was an "awesome [yoga] class". Then I decided to pick up my prescription refill on way to/from the gym in the morning (thinking maybe it would make me go back to a real gym--vs. the one at work). I did my 30 min TurboFire (yes!), took my bath with a rigged drain stop (saran wrap and a suction cup hook that fits perfectly over it)--which worked for the last part anyway, and got to bed shortly after 10 pm. I'm hoping to finally have a relaxing bath tomorrow (of course a bath pillow would be helpful too, but now I'm really pushing it!)

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Spring Cleanse: Day 2

Ugh. Kinda rough!
 
I was up too late last night, so I couldn't wake up when I'd planned. Thus no Netti pot (which I need to start doing again since I'm starting to sneeze, and I don't want my allergies / asthma to come back!), no yoga, no TurboFire. Although I did manage to squeeze in a 15 minute meditation.

The shake for breakfast was yummy, this time with pears and some raspberries. The recipe is really making me re-evaluate the Rainbow Light Chocolate Rice powder I have hated in the past. When I got to work I had some water, and then most of a cup of green tea, as I started feeling tired around 10 am and that's allowed (though I really don't like green tea). I had my broth around 11, but I had a massive headache and felt really tired. I thought maybe lunch would help.

Oh, and while walking into work this morning down the garage stairs, my Achilles injury really tweaked. Not sure if it's the cute shoes I tried wearing since it's a big springy out today, or my body is just tired of exercising. I still plan to go to the gym but I'll need to stay careful. My neighbor posted pictures of me on Facebook from our Friday night outing--I hated them all. If I didn't look massively fat, I looked stupid, or old. That didn't do much for my mood, especially as she keeps telling me I'm awesome. I think she's great too but I still hate the photos and wish I looked different, but then again I've never been very photogenic.

In the afternoon I had a meeting go poorly, which put me in a sour mood. But, in the past I might have turned to one of the two bowls of chocolate candies that always seems to get refilled; instead I went to the gym and worked it off on the Precor EFX while listening to a Pimsleur Spanish lesson. (I'm hoping to go to Spain later this year.) That seemed like such a better solution! Of course I still felt the effects of the exchange into the evening, but hey, I didn't allow it to send me over the edge with food, so that's progress. I drank my second shake (as reward for working out) and then my broth. Worked until 6, then ate my dinner of cod with the same rice and veggies in the pic from day 1. I didn't much want the third cup of broth.

I got home too late to do TurboFire but decided that was OK. My bath was somewhat better than yesterday. I managed to keep more water in the tub with a wash cloth covered by a glass dish--still not ideal I know. But calling the landlord isn't going to do me much good. I need to search online for a DIY fix or contraption.  I got to bed at a somewhat reasonable time (10:30pm).

Spring Cleanse: Days -1 to 1

Here's a pretty uncensored diary of what happened to me early on.

The days before I began
I'm already starting off annoyed. Although my emotional eating binges have been under better control as of late (happening 1 day a week instead of a chain of days, and generally not as bad quantity-wise when they do), Friday ended up being a "bad" food day. Rather than getting angry with myself, I decided to look at it with curiosity and ask why. I determined that it was because I felt socially awkward in a number of situations.

On Saturday I "made up" for Friday--I went most of the day without eating (mostly from being busy). Had a nice quiche from Cafe on the Common around 1:30 pm, and then a lovely salmon dinner with veggies and wine with a friend for dinner. After dinner, however, a voice in my head told me, "you're going to be deprived for 7 days--go get yourself some chocolate cake." (Of course this wasn't true, given my cleanse criteria.) I was actually worried the stores would be closed, so I looked up Hannaford's hours, and I will shamefully admit that at 10:30 pm I drove myself there, went right to the bakery, and grabbed a familiar friend: "chocolate overload cake". Actually it's TWO pieces of chocolate cake, surrounded by the best grocery store icing I've ever had. I suppose it's progress that I made it home and got a fork before eating it (as there have been times I shoved it down in the car with my fingers probably as recently as 6 months ago), and that I took my time trying to find something on the TV. The whole time the voice in my head that said, "don't do this, you don't need this, you'll regret this" was overridden by a primal urge to do it anyway. Sigh. After eating almost all of it, I felt so sick I actually tried to throw up. (That never works for me, by the way. I seem to have a rock solid stomach no matter what I do to it.) And yes folks, the health and fitness nut has been struggling with an eating disorder. So yay, if it wasn't clear, it is now. I'm officially out of the closet. It's actually not my only issue (I've had a rough few years) but it's the only one I'll admit to now, and that's hard enough. For the record, I hope that this experience will help me better coach others in the future. I always say I like to experience something before I tell other people about it, so hey, I suppose it's part of my journey.

Day 1: a new start
This morning I didn't want to get out of bed, but I wanted to "weigh in" at the start of this cleanse at the time when I normally would weigh myself. OK, 116. The most I've ever weighed in my life--and after improving on the binging and getting back on a good workout program for at least a month, it's depressing because I've gained a pound. And before you start rolling your eyes, I'll just remind you that I'm 5 feet tall, have a stomach hanging out where my incredible abs used to be, and don't fit into so many of the clothes in my closet that I had to actually go buy "fat pants"--plus I wear yoga pants way too often these days (for that reason, and because I teach so much). It's all relative people, so before you tell me I'm crazy, think about that. My goal was to lose 3-5 in this 7 days, and this makes me really want to stick to it and lose the 5. However, I'm feeling much like I started yesterday--I don't want to eat because I want to somehow "make up" for last night's binge. And I know that's not the right thing to do. So I've taken my herbs and had my lemon water (something I do anyway, so no big deal)...now it's onto green tea (yuck) and making this protein shake thing I don't really want to have because I keep thinking it will be a ton of calories. But I suppose if I want to have energy to exercise, I need to "eat", and I want to do this program by the book so I can accurately report out.

I'm not constipated yet, yay. The shake finally allowed me to use up this Rainbow Light rice protein powder I haven't much liked--the other ingredients in it actually make it sort of tolerable, though I had to add in extra water to liquify it more, and I already miss the green smoothies I was doing in the mornings. If I do lose 5 lbs, I wonder if this is safe enough to do for 2 weeks and lose 10? After looking it up, it seems as though I can do it up to 3 months if I like! I'm aiming to do it for 2 and a half weeks now, to see if I can feel better about myself before my trip to Austin.

The broth is fine to drink (I bought mine instead of making it from fresh vegetables--it wasn't the work; I just couldn't bring myself to discard all of the veggies afterwards!). I went on a cooking spree this afternoon, making kale with ginger/garlic/olive oil, cod, brown rice (to which I added 1 tsp tumeric as it was simmering), and garlic/rosemary chicken on the George Foreman grill. I ended up with a lot more food than I expected, but I need more lemons. At lunch I added 1/4 avocado because I bought one, it's allowed, and it's going to go bad if I don't eat it over the next day or so. I was totally satisfied by the amount, and it reminded me of the Buddha cleanse. And I love the organic purple cauliflower I found--it's SO pretty!

I did my TurboFire HIIT 25 (from yesterday, admittedly) and am about to do Fire 40 (for today). I'd hoped to go to the gym too but I just can't fit it in, and that might be just a wee bit too much, even for me. I'm looking forward to my bath tonight, because I haven't taken one in awhile, and with getting my hair colored yesterday, it's easier than avoiding getting it wet in the shower. Plus, I stink!

OK, around 4 pm when I had my second cup of broth, it made me hungry. So I made a second shake and took it with me to my yoga class. After drinking it and as I neared the class, I felt very tired and didn't feel at all like being social, much less teaching a class. At that moment I noticed all my cravings rushing in: that chocolate cake I had last night, alcohol, Starbucks (or hell, even Dunkin Donuts--yeah, I've become a coffee snob). I thought that was an interesting association. No one showed up because after all, it was Easter. But I stayed in the room and practiced a trickier part of my flow, then laid in a restorative posture given that I had all the available props. Wow, was that nice. I think I was only doing it for 20 minutes or so but ahhhh....

I went home to have dinner (a LOT of food it seemed, especially with the broth too but I wasn't feeling stuffed), then to take my soak. I discovered a spider as I was filling the tub. Or rather, TRYING to fill the tub, which in my new apartment apparently doesn't hold water very well. I ended up laying in a few inches of water for the 20 minutes, pondering how to rectify the problem tomorrow. Stayed up an hour past my bedtime when I swore I'd be using this cleanse to get better rest. Sigh.