Reiki in the First Degree

It's been a busy weekend for me--Friday night I taught my Introduction to Ayurveda workshop at Breathe Wellness in Marlboro, and then again on Saturday morning at JoLynn Fitness and Wellness in Dracut. Then, off to teach my regular Saturday afternoon class at Earthsong Yoga in Marlboro.

Today I spent the day with the lovely Betty (and her equally lovely Maine Coon, Little Bear), getting my first degree Reiki certification!

For those of you who missed the Introduction to Ayurveda workshop this week and are still interested, I'll be running it one last time next Saturday, December 8th from 2-4pm at Earthsong Yoga, followed by a special dosha-balancing yoga class for my 4:30pm.

Also, if anyone wants to give the gift of yoga or Reiki as a holiday gift, please don't hesitate to contact me. (It's the gift that keeps on giving--in a good way! :-) )

Reflections on Teaching

As I've started teaching yoga more, I'm realizing what a true gift teachers are. In the definition of "teacher" I include people both in an official teaching capacity, as well as others who, for whatever reason (and whether we like it or not!), come into and leave our lives to teach us something we wouldn't have otherwise discovered about ourselves.

Teachers: in the official capacity
I got my first taste of teaching several years ago when I substituted as a dance instructor for a friend who was recovering from surgery. Trying to verbally communicate how I moved my body (even with demonstrations) was a difficult task. I'd been dancing for so long at that point that it was hard to articulate the minute details of what I was doing so those who didn't have that experience could understand. I also quickly learned that students interpret what they see and hear from teachers in different ways, and through their own filters on the world--which may not always be what the teacher intended. And even more interesting was how students picked up on things I did even when I didn't speak to them. (I vividly remember seeing one student bending her knee in a certain way that I always did, which I never spoke of because it was simply a bad habit. And oops, now there is someone copying my bad habit!) It took one class into the six week session for me to appreciate my teachers for their dedication to spreading the dance, and to gain a first-hand understanding of why they'd sometimes seem frustrated.

Teaching yoga is similar, and potentially even more challenging than teaching dance. It's similar in that the teacher has to verbalize what they're doing with their body, but in dance, it's completely left up to the student to find the flow of the dance, to feel the freedom and joy in the experience. I don't think any class or instructor can teach that--it has to be found by the student on their own, in their own time. But in teaching yoga (and maybe this is just my perspective as a new one) the teacher's role is not just about articulating the body positions so no one gets hurt (though that's important). It's also to use verbal and body language to create a safe emotional / mental space that assists students in finding the spaces and openings within themselves, setting the stage for self-inquiry and the spiritual side of yoga that isn't immediately obvious when performing the postures. I also know this cannot be taught. The best a yoga teacher can do is create the conditions for it to be learned, when the student is ready.

Which segues nicely into my second category of teachers: the people who come into and out of our lives to help us learn a lesson.

Teachers: as mirrors into our souls
These teachers can be (and often are) even more powerful transformers than those in an official role. Maybe that's because they almost sneak up on us, challenging us by making us think or feel things we've chosen to avoid. These teachers might help us grow by constantly pushing our buttons, by loving us in ways we never thought we could be loved, by supporting (or not supporting) us when we really need it, by being close to us and then moving on. Quite often, these life teachers are really mirrors into our souls. They show us reflections of ourselves, often without any softening or distortion. And this can be hard to take.

Have you ever had the experience of not liking someone, for no apparent reason? I have. A few months ago I met someone I had a visceral reaction to, without knowing anything about them. Sure, I could point to a few surface-level things the person did that could justify some negative feeling (maybe), but none that could explain what I felt, which bordered on hatred. (How un-yogic of me, right?) Fortunately, I kept running into this person and we got to talking here and there--me feigning interest in what they had to say--at first. It took only a few deeper conversations for me to realize how similar our pasts were, and then something clicked in me: I hated this person without knowing them because I instinctually picked up on the things I saw in them that I hated in myself. Talk about enlightening! And now because of this experience, I know that whenever I have strong feelings about someone (whether that's hatred or love), that person has come into my life to teach me something significant, and may be mirroring me as well.

The teacher appears when the student is ready?
Maybe. It's taken me 15 years to recognize the spiritual aspects of yoga. (Even though throughout my life, I've had teachers who offered the space for me to discover it. I denied it when anyone told me I was "spiritual" because heck, after 12 years of Catholic school I was anything but religious!). When I look back on notes from dance privates 5+ years ago, I see the same advice I'd get if I took one today. And it's only in the past few months that I've finally figured out what "dancing down into the floor" means--which I've gotten through the "grounding" concepts of yoga and Ayurveda. It's taken me 13 years to recognize that I can always trust my intuition, because it is always right (even when the ultimate outcome isn't what I expected), and even longer than that for me to recognize what's important in life and love.

So yes, I think teachers always appear, but regardless of whether the student is actually ready. They'll keep appearing too--as both official teachers and soul mirrors--over and over until we students are in a place where we can really entertain the lesson they're here to teach us. And once we learn a lesson, they'll be new lessons to learn. Life is learning, and learning is life.

How to Prevent Jet Lag: A Remedy Reviewed

Before our recent trip to Belgium and Amsterdam, I decided to try an Ayurvedic remedy to prevent jet lag. Typically whenever I fly long distances with more than five hours of time difference, the first couple days are really rough. My whole body feels incredibly heavy, it's difficult to focus my mind, and I get dizzy. Since we often do trips that are "three days here, three days there," being in this state can really impact my enjoyment of the new scenery! Here's my story and assessment of how well this simple Ayurvedic remedy worked for me.

How to Prevent Jet Lag
The remedy I tried was from the book, "The Complete Book of Ayurvedic Home Remedies", by Dr. Vasant Lad. Dr. Lad attributes jet lag to an imbalance of vata in the body, specifically excess vata. (For those not familiar with Ayurveda, vata is one of the three doshas or constitutions, is represented by the element air, and is characterized as light, dry, cold, and mobile. Given that the activity of flying has many similarities with this dosha, one can see how balance might be tipped in the vata direction when traveling.) The goal with this remedy is to reduce vata to bring the body back into balance.

Dr. Lad's remedy consisted of three parts:

• Taking 2 capsules of ginger with a cup of water an hour before flying
• Drinking 2-3 cups of water at intervals of 1-2 hours while flying, and avoiding caffeine
• When arriving, rubbing warm sesame oil on the scalp and the soles of feet, and drinking 1 cup of hot milk with a pinch of nutmeg and ginger

How I Used the Remedy
Unfortunately in the rush to pack, I didn't get the ginger capsules but I had ginger, so instead I cut a few big slices and ate it raw. I know that may sound gross, but I'd done it before for a cleanse and I got kind of used to it. The only challenge was whether to eat it before flying at all, or just flying the long flight (we had only an hour or so flight to JFK and then a 7 hour flight to Brussels). I decided to wait and eat it right before the long flight.

I always drink lots of water and avoid caffeine, so that part was easy. I'm not sure whether I did it at intervals of 1-2 hours, but every time my water bottle was empty, I asked the flight attendant for a refill.

Before dinner, I started my hunt for hot milk, and found it in the Jazz Cafe at Hotel Navara, where we were staying in Brugge. The bartender didn't ask any questions as I happily poured my Ziplock baggie of ginger and nutmeg into the cup. I will say I did much more than a pinch, and probably would have had a smoother drink had I used less. Still, it was very tasty (and I don't usually do dairy, especially whole milk)!

Before bed, I rubbed (room temperature) sesame oil into my feet and scalp. I suppose I could have run the container under hot water to warm it up, but I didn't.

There was an optional step that advised travelers to drink tea made of equal parts chamomile, mint, and jatamansi, but I didn't do this. I didn't have time to get the loose tea, and wondered if it might invite inquiry at security.

How Well the Remedy Worked
For reference, our first flight left Boston around 4 pm EST on Friday August 31. We boarded our connecting flight from JFK around 7 pm EST that same day, arrived in Brussels Saturday September 1 around 9 am CET, and then spent a couple hours getting to Brugge via the train.

I didn't set any expectations up front about what I expected from the remedy, which makes it a little more difficult to gauge now that I'm home. But I will say this: my husband voiced his tiredness and overall readiness for bed hours earlier than I felt the need to sleep. At 8 pm CET on Saturday we decided to turn in, and I was up reading for about an hour after he'd already gone to sleep. I did fall asleep easily, but woke at 1 am, getting confused about the time and doing a half hour workout in the hotel gym before I realized it was two in the morning! Slightly embarrassed (with no one to witness it), I went back to bed and slept like a baby. The following day I felt fine and we went to bed at a normal time (somewhere between 9-10 pm CET), but I woke again at 1:30 am CET. I intentionally went to the gym this time, hoping to repeat the success of the prior day. Unfortunately, this time my workout backfired and I ended up sitting up until dawn and reading books on my iPad, because I was too wound up to return to sleep. That day of course I was very tired, but the rest of the trip I was fine.

What Traditional Medicine and the Scientific Community Says

• The medical community understands jet lag to be a disruption of the body's natural circadian rhythms, which is in line with the core principles of Ayurveda. Doctors offer similar advice about staying hydrated with water and avoiding caffeine when flying.
• Drinking warm milk is typical grandmotherly advice, but the belief that it's the tryptophan in this beverage that makes one sleepy has actually not been proven. Rather, like a warm mug of chamomile tea, the medical community only references that the act of drinking something warm and soothing comforts us and therefore helps with relaxation before bed. So drink up the milk and/or the tea, taking it in with all your senses. (Which by the way, is another very Ayurvedic thing to do!)
• Ginger is typically associated with relieving an upset stomach and aiding in digestion. In Ayurveda it has many reported benefits, including being good for lubrication of the joints and for circulation, which could be helpful when one is seated in a cramped airplane for hours. (Stretching regularly, of course, is also recommended.) WebMD mentions ginger as a way to treat muscle soreness and low back pain, likely because of its ability to reduce inflammation. I can see how that would be useful after sitting in the airplane seats, which don't appear to have been designed for anyone I know.
• Another "non-FDA approved" aspect of this remedy is the topical use of sesame oil. Ayurveda recommends sesame oil quite a bit, especially for self massage to promote general health. There are a few studies that show the topical use of sesame oil might be "useful," particularly as an ingredient for alleviating knee pain from osteoarthritis and inhibiting the growth of malignant melanoma. Unrelated I know, but if there's some evidence circulating for such conditions (which in my opinion, are much worse than something like jet lag!), I don't doubt sesame oil's power. It's also had many uses throughout history. Plus, who doesn't love a massage?

My Blog, My Soapbox
Like anything else, there are conflicting viewpoints about whether techniques like the Ayurvedic jet lag remedy I described above really work. Without scientific research, many such remedies are looked upon with skepticism. Here's my personal view:

• these remedies have been around for thousands of years and are in line with nature
• more scientific studies are being conducted about yoga and meditation, showing they really work--I wouldn't be surprised if in the future, many more "unproven" techniques are supported by data. I'd rather not wait, and experience them for myself in the present.
• many of them are easy enough to try (though you may have to shop around for supplies)
• given the list of side effects listed for prescription and over-the-counter medications these days, I don't worry much about taking herbs
• whether its a placebo effect or not, if it works for me, I'll continue doing it
• if it doesn't work for me, I'll try something else, no big deal!

The caveat of course, is if one is sensitive to certain things, has existing medical conditions that require medications with which herbs might interfere, or is worried about side effects. One should always talk with their health care providers about what they're doing to make sure a remedy is safe to explore (but don't be surprised if they don't think it will actually help!).

Nourishing Myself Like a Buddha

The Inspiring Book
A few months ago, a fellow yogi was reading If the Buddha Came to Dinner. I was interested but reading some other things at the time, but a few weeks ago, I finally got around to buying my own copy.

The verdict? I think this is an excellent book and I highly recommend it. The first half explores what nourishment really is (hint: it's more than just food!), and potential to transform us not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Schatz' content aligns nicely with the Ayurvedic practices and seasonal eating I'd already been exploring, and also includes easy-to-understand diagrams about food combining. Quite frankly, this was a concept that used to intimidate me because I worried it was too complicated. (No more! :-) The first half also includes a simple cleanse that gives readers lots of freedom, both in how long to do each phase and in what to eat. The second part of the book contains fabulous, easy-to-make recipes that support good nutrition whether or not readers do the cleanse, and automatically follow the food combining principles.

Cleanse Basics & Initial Fears
Given that I have been having digestive issues of late, I was already considering completely eliminating dairy or gluten. So, the idea of this cleanse came at the perfect time. For the food part, it basically looks like this:

• Phase 1: fruits and vegetables only
• Phase 2: addition of grains (with vegetables), seeds and nuts (eaten separately)
• Phase 3: addition of proteins (with vegetables, but not grains)

Being hypoglycemic my whole life, I've always been taught to eat lots and lots of protein, and as much as I've tried to deny it, I'm a carb junkie underneath. I worry about the sugar in fruit. The cynical part of me wondered how on earth would I survive on just fruits and vegetables! But, although I originally planned on doing an abbreviated version of the cleanse (each phase can be 2-6 days), I became curious about whether all of this fear was just in my mind.

A Week of Discovery
Monday was my start day, and I won't lie--it was rough! I thought I'd be fine because I eat healthy (no caffeine, processed foods, etc.) but the previous day my husband and I had celebrated his birthday, feasting (and instantly regretting!) really bad dim sum for lunch. Oh, and then I had a little bowl of real ice cream for the first time in ages (which was awesome!). So day one, I got a terrible headache and wave of tiredness a little after lunchtime; I decided the cleanse was doing its job. Things didn't improve, and I went to bed at 8pm. Here are some interesting takeaways from this day:

• My stomach issues flared up--when I inhaled my food.
• Being tired or upset with myself made me crave sweets

Fortunately, days two through six were much smoother. I:

• Experienced more instances of eating too fast or un-mindfully causing my stomach issues
• Noticed how I ate because the clock said to (overriding my body's wisdom about whether or not I was hungry)
• Had nightmares that I considered to be good (i.e. psychic cleansing)
• Talked myself out of a really cranky / annoyed mood, and felt really balanced after
• Continued to be surprised at just how much water my body seems to need to be hydrated, and how thirst often masqueraded as hunger or showed up as a headache
• Once again saw how boredom made me crave things
• Allowed feelings of upset to run their course rather than try to push them away, and they seemed to dissipate easily
• Realized that maybe my body and mind are more tired that I allow myself to feel

Most of these I already knew on some level, reminding me of Autobiography in Five Short Chapters. However, I had to really restrain myself about ending the last item with an exclamation point.

The other thing I want to point out is that with this cleanse, I did nothing different about my workouts. Actually, that's not true. Every day I've run, I've run further, and easier (though that might also be because of yoga).  I expected that the lack of protein would be a real problem, and turns out if was just another figment of my imagination.

So How About That Fruit?
While Schatz' hash browns with avocado slices were also something I never thought I could eat for breakfast, they held me just fine, and so for two of the six days, I tried a fruit bowl for breakfast instead. I had a bowl of 1/2 apple, 1/2 pear, 1/2 banana and a sprinkling of dried currants. I eat breakfast between 8-8:30 am every day, and wouldn't you know it, that held me until lunch, which happened to be 12:45 that particular day! It's amazing what tricks the mind can play on us.

Surrendering to Whatever is Next
Today I began phase two, and honestly I am a little nervous about adding grains. Schatz encourages readers to pay attention to how they feel two to three hours afterwards, to see if grains fuel the body or contribute to cravings. I like having the opportunity for heightened awareness that phase one provided, and plan to take advantage of it. I'm also worried about the seeds and nuts, because I love their crunchy texture and did miss them a few times during phase one. I guess time will tell whether these fears are justified, or just more of my mind playing tricks on me. :-)

How Yoga Improved My Running

At the second half of my yoga teacher training, I decided to continue running at the fitness center's treadmill in preparation for the 10K I am doing in September. I didn't have a lot of time in between classes, but I managed to squeeze in 30-45 minutes every other day (as I do when I'm home).

I didn't expect all the yoga teachings to translate so profoundly into my running, improving it tremendously. The dramatic effects have continued now that I'm home, so I thought I would share them with you. I hope this post ties together yoga and running for my fellow yogis in interesting new ways, and encourages some of my non-yogi readers to learn more about how yoga can help improve your runs!

Before the Run
Here's what I recommend one do before a morning run, based on how I start each morning.

• Neti pot--clears the nasal passages, enabling easier breathing. As an aside, I believe netti is responsible for me being allergy free for over a year now, and no, I don't heed any advice about the brain eating amoebas.
• Warm or lukewarm water with lemon--hydrates the body on waking, and add all the health benefits of lemons.
• Yoga (asana) practice--15-30 minutes lubricates all the major joints, works out any stiffness from sleeping, elongates the spine and stretches the muscles. It also encourages deep breathing. If instead of following a DVD I do my own flow, I get more in tune with my body's wisdom, which is helpful during the run (see below).
• Meditation--just 10-15 minutes fills the body with fresh oxygen as it clears away built up carbon dioxide, strengthens the lungs and diaphragm, and focuses the mind. For meditation, I mostly focus on the three-part yogic (dirgha) breath--belly, rib cage, and chest. 
• Small snack (if needed)--prevents the body and mind from being distracted by hunger. I'll sometimes eat a handful of mixed nuts or 1/2 a BudiBar to tide me over until breakfast, especially if I went to bed feeling hungry the night before.
• Elimination--emptying the system (both ways) prevents the body and mind from being distracted while running by a need for relief!

During the Run 
OK, so here's where it gets more interesting. First, several koshas, or levels of being, are recognizable when one is running:

• Physical body (annomaya kosha): a focus on good posture / alignment. Some things I think about during my run include: am I rolling through my feet properly? Are my knees locked? Is my tailbone tucked and my belly drawn in to elongate my spine? Are my shoulders relaxed and moving down my back? Is my face and jaw relaxed? Are my arms swinging out to the sides (instead of crossing my chest) to enable deep breathing? I've found that moving from the ground up (as a yoga instructor would do to cue a posture) is helpful in maintaining good running form.
• Breath body (pranamaya kosha): a focus (obviously) on breathing. Back in February I learned the many benefits of comfortably breathing through the nose even during a run. I never thought I could do this, but it's related to "the edge" (see below)--in other words, if I'm gasping for air through the mouth, I know I've probably gone past mine!
• Witness consciousness (vijnanamaya kosha): asking the questions above while running means that part of the Self is aware enough to do this. Noticing when either the body or the breath is lacking "good form" and re-establishing it with compassion and without judgment, is key. In my experience, this protects the body and makes the run steady (stira) and sweet / easy (sukha).

So what about that pesky mind and all its thoughts and feelings (manomaya kosha)!? Many people, including myself, have probably spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to distract the mind during a run. Or, maybe that's when some feel they do their best thinking. Either way, I've come to the conclusion that taking the mind away from the run is not a good thing, because I'm not paying attention to my body or my breath--and these can tell me a lot about whether I'm helping or hurting myself.

Here are some yogic concepts I've found helpful in dealing with the mind during a run:

• Sense withdrawal (pratyahara): quite the opposite of distracting the mind through the sense is the idea of focusing on the body and breath during the run itself. When running at the gym, I used to: watch TV (both the images and reading the closed captions), people watch, listen to music, and sometimes read a magazine. I also used to look down at the display several times, which caused my mind to calculate the minutes left or set goals around the calories I should burn. In retrospect, none of this ever made me feel better, and sometimes it even made me feel worse. These days, I listen to Krisha Das (unlikely running music for sure!), cover the treadmill display with my towel, and gaze straight ahead at a single, non-moving point (drishti). When I run outside, this turns to gazing at the horizon as much as possible.
• Micro-movements: if one is completely focused on the body and breath while running and there are no distractions, then what is one to do when discomfort arises? Well, here's an example: the other day I noticed my left knee started to hurt, so I asked myself: "what small adjustment (micro-movement) could I make to relieve this pain?" Then I listened to my body for its wisdom and trusted it would know what to do. Within a minute, I internally rotated my thighs, and the pain stopped. Interesting, no?
• BRFWA: Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch, & Allow is another technique for dealing with discomfort. Here's an example from my experience: it never fails that in minutes 3-5 of any run, I get really hot, and start sweating, and it's really uncomfortable. It used to make my mind think: "I can't really run, who am I kidding?" and "Maybe I should stop and walk." Now, I just notice it. I view it as an expression of my life force (prana) building with the movement of my body and with my breathing. I relax into it and it quickly melts away.
• The edge: compassionate self-awareness compels one to generate sensation, yet understand and respect one's limits. For me, this involved learning to breathe through my nose--I initially had to take my run way down, back to a walk (and be OK with that!) before building back up to a jog. Noow I do about 5.5-5.7 on a treadmill comfortably. It took a lot for me to accept that as my speed, but I'm consistently running 4-5 miles at a time, and finishing my runs feeling eerily calm and content
• Loving-kindless (metta): when running with other people on treadmills at the gym or during a race, I've found that the pace of others can be helpful or hurtful. I've started thinking of others as my running community (sangha), which consists of people who want happiness just like me. So, when I lose my drishti and notice someone running faster, or if someone passes me, I send them loving and kind thoughts. The same goes for someone ahead of me whose clearly struggling and slows down. And I send it to myself as well, any time I feel like a kosha other than witness consciousness has taken me over!

Please consider choosing one of these techniques and trying it out. It's done wonders for my running, and I'd love to know how it affects you!

My Experience with the Short Home Cleanse (SHC)

As some of you know, I completed my first real detox last fall. It was very powerful, and so as part of my follow up from attending Dr. Douillard's Ayurveda and Weight Loss program at Kripalu last month, I decided to try his 4-day, short home cleanse to prepare for spring. Here are some highlights from my experience. 

Prep Day: Sunday

• I keep thinking of my last detox and anticipating what this one might be like. I realize I need to let go of any expectations. 
• I make a different version of kitchari--this time based on Dr. Douillard's recipe, and am interested in seeing which one I like better. This kitchari seems easier to make for some reason; I decide to make it each night rather than quadrupling the batch and having it taste stale. 
• I decide to do the non-capsule form of all the herbs, and I can't find red root tincture after running to three different stores. I binge on a chocolate chip pumpkin muffin from Whole Foods because I'm frustrated. But I call Cambridge Naturals and they finally save me. 
• I say something to my husband about it being nice to have permission to take a bath each night, to which he responds, "why do you need permission any night?" Hmmm.... 

Day 1: Monday

• I can't believe I drank two teaspoons of ghee, although I didn't bother trying without mixing it with nonfat soy milk. I also added cardamom since I figured it would remind me of my warm spiced cardamom milk, but without the cashews. It actually isn't bad, but I can't imagine day four when I have to consume eight teaspoons first thing in the morning!
• It's nice to get back to alternate nostril breathing, but my mind is a ping pong ball during morning meditation. 
• I think I overdosed on the red root tincture! The instructions in Dr. Douillard's pamphlet say "one dropper-full" but I have a big bottle, and the bottle says 20-30 drops (which is nowhere near a dropper-full). I dump out some and dilute it with more water. It smells OK in the bottle but is gross in the water, maybe because I did WAY too much to start. I get a little paranoid about potential side effects, but after getting to work, I seem to still be alive. The red root tincture is gross, even with just 20 drops.
• I'm very hungry by 11am but I'd done a pretty brisk walk on the treadmill at the gym this morning--why is it so hard for me to back off!? I convince myself that warm water will hold me until 12:15pm, which it does. I'm hungry again between 3-4pm and slightly dizzy. Hopefully it's just a "first day" thing.

Day 2: Tuesday

• I continue to have a hard time slowing down my exercise. I do a little yoga and limit myself to Tracy Anderson arms and abs. It's not easy especially given how much ghee (i.e. fat) I know I'm ingesting each morning. I hope to get a walk in today though--the weather is so gorgeous! 
• My husband had me awake a lot last night with the various noises he makes in his sleep. I decide not to mention it today, in contrast to what I usually do. It seems like telling him after the fact, when he can do nothing to change things, isn't "non-harming". 
• I feel slower and more relaxed somehow (or it it weak?). I'm more easily aware of my belly breathing, and when I tighten my facial muscles (which I do a lot).
• My hair is not right, even though I used limited massage oil on my head last night. 
• I'm not hungry for breakfast, and I'm wondering whether I should eat kitchari until I'm full or the full serving, given its a long way to lunch. I need to follow the two-palm rule more often (mine are small)! I end up eating 3/4, but once at work I panic slightly as I'm hungry again. I drink more warm water and it helps. (I'm getting better at the warm water!) By 11am I'm only slightly hungry. 
• I eat my lunch too fast, and my stomach doesn't feel well before even drinking the red root tincture water. I decide to save my whey protein shake for later, and wonder if that counts as a (forbidden) snack? Probably. In general the red root stuff is less offensive. I accidentally refrigerate it in my lunch sack, and hope that isn't a problem.
• After work I again eat 3/4 of my kitchari out on the deck, and call my mom and some old friends I've lost touch with. I decide that although my husband is fantastic, I still need a wider support system. Relationships have been difficult to maintain, especially with everyone not dancing as much and going their separate ways. I double the spices in my next batch of kitchari.
• During my evening bath I decide to face some difficult emotions I've been avoiding, which were stirred up by two different situations today. For the 20 minutes I don't read, but try to get in touch with my feelings. I manage to cry just a little. Not a total release or anything, but it's something, since I'm not a crier. I theorize this as a root cause of an issue I've been struggling with for a little while now (which is a possible topic for a future blog post). I feel amazed that I'm alive, given what my mother and grandmother went through in their lives. I consider that I'm out of balance again: I used to dance too much, but maybe now I'm too far into the yoga, meditation, and nutrition and not having enough dancing fun. Though I'd been wondering why the heck I signed up for Boston Tea Party, part of me starts to look forward to it. 
• I love that I happened to do this cleanse so that it fell on the vernal equinox / first day of spring! I think I should do this yearly.

Day 3: Wednesday

• I meditate outside on the front porch this morning. It's lovely. The gym is also good, but I am running late and feeling a bit of the fear I always associate with that. I hope my morning kitchari holds me until lunch, given the good walk I had. 
• I end up having a walking one-on-one this morning right before lunch, and am surprisingly, minimally hungry! I eat my kitchari mindfully and then have my shake. 
• Two colleagues give me unexpected gifts, which makes me smile! Also, during a meeting I end up being funny with my notes and people notice (in a positive way). 
• Work gets a little crazy in the afternoon but I somehow multitask without the stress I normally feel. Even driving home, stuck in traffic, hungry and knowing I should have eaten by 6pm, it isn't at the same level at all. Listening to Wayne Dyer's Making the Shift doesn't hurt either! 
• I wonder how I'm going to do eight teaspoons of ghee tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is already day four--making my kitchari for the last time I feel sad; I was just getting into the routine. It has been so easy to do each night -- I have it down to a science and had to plan so much less. And it does taste much better fresh each day!

Day 4: Thursday

• I've been sleeping so well, both last night and the night before. I wonder why I ever got out of the "no-technology/water after 9pm and evening meditation" routine. 
• I am amazed that today's my last day. I take my ghee and meditation on the front porch again, since it's another beautiful day! The 8 tsp. of ghee is OK going down, but after light yoga and the Bar Method I feel slightly nauseous.
• I got way too much oil in my hair last night, and haven't been able to get it all out.
• I have a really great afternoon -- overall I feel very productive and at ease at work, even though I'm very busy. At 4:30pm though, I'm starving and I feel shaky. I decide to have tea. I will NOT break this cleanse in the final hours!
• What is it about a cleanse/detox that makes everything just seem easier? Is it the food (i.e. because kitchari and ghee is grounding for my vata-pitta constitution)? Is it feeling like I have that "permission" to take time for: self care activities like baths and massages; a mental "vacation" from stress; less strenuous workouts? Is it because I'm focused on the cleansing process? Why can't every day be like this--just easy! That would be awesome! I think it can be, if I allow it.
• I mess up the order of the day 4 final steps: I eat, then drink some red root tincture water, then prune juice, then dandelion tea while taking a bath and waiting for the "may or may not happen" laxative effect. Several hours later, there are no observable issues (or laxative effect)!

The Day and Night After: Friday / Saturday

• I can't get over how nice my skin is. "Radiant" I think, catching myself staring at my face in the mirror while getting ready for work. :-) I'm looking forward to a breakfast that isn't kitchari, although I'm taking leftovers for lunch. I feel so grounded and balanced between both feet. I do a light jog at the gym. I am very mindful during my shower, and makeup application. I lost 2 lbs, but I don't care, given all the other benefits!
• I have another busy yet productive day at work. A few times I feel like I've helped people, and that makes me feel good.
• My husband and I have a nice dinner out. I immediately divide my plate into the two portions it is, take half home, and have chocolate yogurt at home for dessert (proper portions). I pack a Sensible Medley snack and get ready to head out to Boston Tea Party for some dancing.
• I feel good listening to a friend while driving to the dance, and enjoy seeing people. I dance with a very sweet old man who tries to teach me how to Mambo on the West Coast Swing dance floor. I don't turn a single leader down, and I'm having a nice time.
• Around midnight, my ego comes out in full force, though I only recognize it after the fact. Disappointed but comforting myself with some compassion, I decide to head out. I manage to meditate and do alternate nostril breathing before finally getting to sleep around 1am.
• I wake up naturally at 5:20am, try to go back to sleep, and am up again at 5:45. I do my regular morning routine, but I have a headache and feel cranky, short of breath, dehydrated (even after drinking tons of water last night) and antsy. I feel like this just re-affirms the choices I've made over the last few months, and predict that my dance career may remain on hold for awhile.

Anyone else have a detox / cleanse experience you want to share? I'd love to hear about it.

Ayurveda and weight loss: my latest excursion to Kripalu

Last weekend I attended a program called "Ayurveda and Weight Loss" at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. It was taught by Dr. John Douillard, author of The 3-Season Diet: Eat the Way Nature Intended: Lose Weight, Beat Food Cravings, and Get Fit. It was a fascinating program, one of the best I've been to at Kripalu since I started going there in the late 1990s. There's lots to share, but I'll try to focus on the weekend's highlights. 

Program Overview
First off, Dr. Douillard was a great presenter: engaging, funny, and informative. He shared both sides of an argument and its research before offering his recommendation. He also took a lot of time to answer questions from the audience. Everything he said resonated with me and at the same time kind of blew my mind--I guess that's what happens when in hindsight, real solutions seem so simple and obvious.

Dr. Douillard defined Ayurveda, on which his book is based, as "the science of living life in harmony with nature". Our lifestyles often work against nature, resulting in experiences of physical and mental highs and lows. As these accumulate over time, we become exhausted and the body breaks down. Working with nature makes life a heck of a lot easier, so at a high level, it's what all we want to do!

Program Takeaways
At a high level, Dr. Douillard's message is that:

• We've trained ourselves to stop being good fat burners, and need to restore that capability. Rather than avoiding foods, the majority of us should be able to digest anything as if we were 18 years old. Better digestion means we feel sustained with less food, which ultimately leads to a healthy and maintainable weight.
  
• We should eat three meals, making lunch the largest and longest meal so that it aligns with the circadian rhythm of the day. Snacking conditions your body to crave food every 2-3 hours, to burn the snack rather than fat from the previous meal, and negatively impacts sleep because you're suddenly asking your body to fast for 8 hours.
  
• There are no bad foods. Some are just better than others, based on your individual body constitution and the seasons. Look to the harvests of each season, because they are designed to balance and maintain the health of your body. (Use this quiz on Dr. Douillard's web site to find your body type, and check out which foods are best for Winter.)
• Stress has a significant impact on how well the body's organs function, and when digestion is affected, weight is too.  It's important to engage the parasympathetic nervous system throughout the day by eating meals mindfully, really taking time to relax, and by leveraging close-mouthed, deep breathing techniques even during exercise.
• Staying hydrated throughout the day is vital. Drinking 1-2 full glasses of water all at once, before you eat or whenever you have a craving can work wonders. 

Throughout the weekend, Dr. Douillard complimented information like this with highly accessible explanations of the physiological and emotional workings of the human body. Understanding the deeper rationale behind these recommendations is what really sold it for me. If you want to learn more, check out his web site.

Some Personal Experiences
This past week I've been going with nature, and I can tell you that personally, I have experienced it to be easier. I initially felt defensive and fearful about giving up my snacks, since I've managed my hypoglycemia that way for years. But after eating mostly the "best" foods off Dr. John's Winter grocery list, I've started to learn just how much is in my mind versus truly in my body. I've re-tried and liked foods I thought I didn't, and I love having a little dessert with lunch because that means no 3-4 pm chocolate or carb cravings. I'm starting to feel less hungry for breakfast and dinner, and my mind feels more calm and peaceful. What's more, I'm having to grocery shop less, and what I buy is always the best quality because it's naturally in season.

I'm going to continue exploring all of this, since it just makes sense to me. I welcome techniques into my life that make living simpler, enabling me to just be.